Jessica's Journey

HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY JESSICA !!!

2012-01-15T00:11:00.009-05:00

Dearest Jessica,

Today is your birthday! 24 years old!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!

How do I even begin to tell you how I feel in my heart about you? I have truly been blessed by God to have you as my daughter and to be called your Mom!

It is often said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step....and oh, how true that saying is for what you have endured these past years. You have taken many "steps"--- sometimes forward, most times backward, some small, some big, most hard and some unimaginable! But through it all, you have shown to me and all who have come to know you, how truly strong, courageous, special, and amazing you are!

I remember many years ago, before you were born, how I couldn't wait to meet you. When God blessed me with you I was the happiest person in the world. You were my little bit of heaven, my little Angel, sent from God above! The love I felt for you was overflowing, just like the water in the sea. I never imagined that I could feel so much love.

Through the years, you have never ceased to amaze me. These past few years you have been nothing short of incredible---I stand in awe of YOU!

As I sit here writing this special letter to you this year, we are finally blessed to be back "home". Home here in Florida, with your Dad, sisters, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. God continues to bless us in so many ways. You see, in this "journey" that we have been taking, we have had to call many places "home", as I think of where we were last year at this time and Mexico was our home away from home.

But in each and every place we have journeyed, you have shown to everyone what "strength under fire" is. What you have had to endure, no one should ever have to in their lifetime, let alone in just a few years! Your tenacity and belief in a God that would be there with you every "step" of the way, was just incredible. You are a living example of what unwavering faith in God, hope in a brighter tomorrow, and unconditional love is all about!

My prayer for you this year is for you to experience all that you have missed in the years that you have been ill. I want you to have all the things you couldn't have or even do because of the pain that robbed you of a life you should have had; the life that God originally intended it to be.

Jessica, you are and have been ALL that I have ever wanted in a child! You have taught me a greater love and it is you that gives me a special reason to wake up each morning. You are my sunshine on a dark day and your smile brightens up every room you are in! I promise you that I will help you to see the world that you have missed during your illnesses and that I will always be there to hold your hand as you face each new day, just as my Mom, your Grandma, did for me.

So Jessica please even though we know that the world isn't perfect, and that you may "fall" from time to time, do not worry because I will always be there to "pick you up" forever and always.....

I love you very much and I am so proud to be called your Mom and honored to take this journey, step by step, with you. Remember, small steps---huge advances, as Dr. Cantu always says!

Happy 24th Birthday Jessica! From the very first, I have admired you, enjoyed and been so proud of you. And as the years go by, my love for you only grows deeper - my honest, amazing, inspring, truly original daughter! May God continue to bless your "steps" and keep you safe and warm and may you finally be able to enjoy your "new" life!

All my love, always,
Your Mom Sarita xo

Numbers 6:24-26
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.

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Happy 2012!

2012-01-03T11:26:00.026-05:00

Happy 2012 Everyone!

Yea, I know I am a few days late... but I have been so busy enjoying this New Year with my family that I have not had a chance to sit down and write! :)

I started out New Year's Eve morning by making Italian cookies with my Nanny from her very own recipe!

These are "Nanny Yum Yum" cookies! They turned out beautiful and were soooo delicious!!

I than got to watch my daughter/dog Molly take a bath!! We couldn't let her start out the new year smelling bad! I had forgotten how CUTE she is wet!

After her bath, we all sat around outside by the pool to let her dry in the warm Florida sun.

It was a wonderful day! I know these things might seem silly to be making such a big deal over.... but THESE are the visions I had in my mind that kept me going through years of illness.

These memories are the reason I wanted to live!

Later that night, as we counted down to midnight, everyone took turns giving me giant hugs and a lot of kisses!

Grandma hugging her "miracle" at midnight

Watching the ball-drop, together, was very emotional for us. Being home, I am realizing more and more just how much my illness and our time apart has affected everyone… on many different levels.

I know it has not been easy and everyone has dealt with it differently. But this year, I feel more blessed than ever to be a part of this amazing family!

I hope they always know how much I love them and appreciate the sacrifices that have been made to allow me to make it into this New Year with them!!!

I LOVE this family!!!!

Near midnight, I made some special calls to my 'Mexican Family' to wish them a Feliz Año Nuevo! I even got to skype with Dr. Rainbow and talk with Dr. Cantu, Dr. Luigi and Cindel!

They are all always with me in spirit, as evidenced by our scrabble game... Dr. "Green Shirt" Cantu is never too far from our minds!!

After the ball had dropped, we all went outside and made a lot of noise and lit sparklers!

...Maybe some of us went a little more crazy than others... :)

We got to watch our very own "personal" fireworks show that a neighbor across the lake was putting on!

It was a perfect way to ring in the New Year!

New Years Day I was surprised with a very special visit from our dear friend Cecilia, her daughter Sandra and her new baby, Benjamin!

To get into the whole story of just how special Cecilia is to us would take up several pages. She is one of many people who has been a true God-sent angel to us and we love her so much!

Cecilia has seen me at every stage of my illness from Florida, to New York... even all of the way to Mexico, where she came to visit me and help us in 2009!

She was SO amazed to see me now, so well, able to do so much! She must have told me over 100 times how happy she was and how she just "can't believe it!"

Needless to say, having her, her daughter and her new grandson, here in my home with me, celebrating health, happiness and new life, was a perfect way to start out the new year!

None of us can ever know what the future will hold, but we can rest assured knowing WHO holds the future!

I would like to thank all for your generous support and love! 2012 is off to a great start for me and I believe that this is going to be an AMAZING year!! ....A year that would not have been possible without so many of you!

Feliz Año Nuevo!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!!

In God's love,

Jessica

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:18-19)

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MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2011-12-25T15:28:00.005-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

I am home, celebrating Christmas with my entire family today for the first time in 5 years!! We are eating, laughing, hugging and kissing... It's incredible!

I feel like this must be a dream.... and if it is, I hope I never wake up!

I don't have the words to express my gratitude and happiness today! But, as I often say, a picture is worth 1,000 words....

So with these pictures we wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, filled with love, family, happiness and health.

Happy Birthday to Jesus and Merry Christmas to all!

In His great power and love,

Jessica
.....& ALL of the Stevens family!

Together again, 2011!! AMEN! :)

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I AM HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-12-19T10:23:00.041-05:00

Good morning everyone!! This is my first blog from HOME!!!! I am super tired, but SO happy!!

I thought I would share with everyone the update that I sent to Dr. Cantu last night... it tells the whole story :)

Hola Dr. Green Shirt!!!

I am writing to you right now from HOME!!!! We just got home from the airport and right now I am laying in my own bed, in my own house, in my beautiful new bedroom, surrounded by family... It’s unreal.

They are all just staring at me, smiling and crying... looking at me as if I am this brand new masterpiece that was just put on display in a museum. Nobody is sure if they should touch it, or what to even say about it... they are just completely amazed at the "new Jessica" that has been returned home to them!! ...A Jessica who can now move around, sit up, talk, laugh, be hugged, held, touched, kissed (maybe too much!!) loved and EAT with them!! It's beyond belief. I think you would be very jealous of the amazing feast my Italian grandmother cooked for us today! :)

We started our day at 3 AM yesterday leaving our apartment in Mexico and heading to the airport for our 6 AM flight. Cindel slept over with her mom Claudia so they could drive us.

On the flight from Monterrey to Atlanta I was able to watch the sunrise! It was incredible!!

The flights themselves went pretty well and I held up better than I expected! The staff and everyone at Delta went out of their way to make me feel comfortable and more at ease.

Every time the flight got bumpy, or I was feeling anxious, or nauseous, I just looked at my favorite picture—the one of you and Patch Adams and it immediately made me smile and feel better.

The Mexican security check went fine-- they read your doctors letter and didn't touch me at all. On the USA side though, they took me into a private room and wanted to "gently" touch me everywhere and swab both me and my wheelchair for "further" inspection.

It was time consuming, but everyone was really nice and so excited and happy for me when I told them my story and how I was traveling home for the first time!

Me with Nikki

I think the part of the trip that caused the most discomfort was having to be transferred into this small “aisle” wheelchair to get in and out of the plane. Definitely not comfortable at all.... and I am pretty small, I can't imagine how anyone larger than me could even get on one of these things!!

On the plane rides my mom (obviously) told EVERYBODY (cleaning crew, flight attendants, pilots, whoever!) the whole story about my miracle in Mexico.

Mom and I

We also introduced everyone to "Nino Luigi "Patch" Cantu"-- my bear, who has never left my side for the past 2.5 years! :)

All of the pilots came over and sat down with me, congratulated me, wished me well and took pictures with me too!

This is me with the two pilots from flight 4988, David and Jon

Me with Rob, Otis, Dena and Tony on flight 1430

My mom somehow even managed to get herself invited up into the cockpit, with the pilots, to fly the plane! (Now, THAT is a scary thought!)

Captain Sarita

As I was wheeled out of the terminal I could already see the signs and hear people screaming my name!!

I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest! Finally, seeing my family again and their excitement over seeing me -healed-was just the greatest Christmas gift I have ever had in my life.

The three Stevens girls-- back together again!!!

My daughter (dog) Molly was at the airport waiting for me dressed in cute pink ballerina dress. I was so worried that she wouldn’t remember me, but she did! She ran over to me, jumped on top of me, kissed me and fell asleep in my arms!

There are really no words to describe today, except perfect.

Your ears must have been ringing because as we sat around re-uniting, all we could talk about was you! My uncles wore green shirts (my godfather even wore green pants!) in honor of you!

We had a professional videographer at the airport to capture this moment for our family and at the end of the tape he went around and had everyone say a special message and wave “hola” to you in Mexico!

I am extremely exhausted and I know I am running on pure adrenaline right now. I will probably crash for the next few days, but I wanted you to have these photos tonight, so that you can feel like you were here with me, because to me, you were. The reality is, for the rest of my life, every new or happy moment that I am ever blessed to get to experience, you always will be a big part of it because you gave me this chance to have a new life!

Seeing my Florida home for the first time in 5.5 years!!!

So, just know that tonight, because of you, the Stevens' family is sleeping under the same roof for the first time in 2.5 years!!!

Goodnight, Dr. Green Shirt, Thank you for saving my life. I love you…

.....Actually, WE ALL love you!

Te extraño mucho!

Love,

Jessica

Your #1 Patient

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."- 1 Corinthians 13:7

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Counting down the days!

2011-12-06T09:58:00.003-05:00

Hi everyone!

We have officially begun the final countdown until my homecoming! My sister Michelle has calculated the exact days, hours, minutes and even seconds until I will be home with her. I am smiling now just thinking about my family, finally all together again. I can’t wait!

I can honestly say though, that only a few times in my life have I ever felt so overwhelmed with emotions that I feel almost speechless, (ask anyone- when I am well, I rarely shut up!)

Right now I feel like I am a baby bird who is about to leave the “nest” for the first time in her life. Excited, yet scared, happy, yet nervous, optimistic, yet cautiously…

I guess the good news is that more than 90 percent of the time, the baby bird DOES eventually fly. :)

When I came to Monterrey, I never saw the day I would fly out of the nest ever coming. My parents were told that at the rate I was deteriorating, I could maybe live just a few more months in that condition. I was just hoping to live.

We certainly never intended on having to stay in the hospital for 14 months, or in Mexico for 2.5 years! I never could have anticipated the complications, or how slow and difficult my recovery would be.

But I also never imagined that I would come to know, adore and truly love my doctors and so many people here.

They have been the ones physically with me these past 2 years, through hell and back, and I know my mom and I never would have made it through without them.

I may have come to Mexico just hoping to re-gain my life and health, but in the process I have been so blessed to have also gained a second “mexican” family!

I don't think I fully realized, until now, just how emotionally difficult of a trip this would be. I am just so... ? everything. It’s crazy! I’m so excited to be well enough to go back home!... but at the same time, I know I am really going to miss what has become my “mexican home” too. It’s bittersweet. I know that sounds weird.

So while we spend the days packing, and cleaning, and packing some more... I spend my nights remembering their smiles, kindness and love, memorizing the incredible view of the mountains, thinking about the many miracles that have taken place, and envisioning the looks of pure amazement on everyone’s faces at home when they see me!!!

Heck, I came to Monterrey as someone that even I wouldn’t recognize now!!

My health has not been the only thing that has improved. My life as a whole has as well. My dreams are bigger, my goals may be harder to reach, but I want them more, my memories are sweeter, my heart is happier and fuller and my God, he is greater.

How will these people ever know exactly how much I love them, or how they have changed me?!?

I have a different appreciation and understanding of life now... It always goes on. There will be no ‘goodbyes’ because I know these bonds are lifelong.

Everything is how it should be.

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so, some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:2)

....I know I have.

So, for now, see you soon, hasta manana & thank you, for everything.

Love, Jessica

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I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!

2011-12-01T16:54:00.004-05:00

…and NOT only in my dreams!!!!!

We have booked our flights home!! (Again!)

It had been a bit crazy here with a rough week after I had my bisphosphonate infusion. I had a rare reaction that caused my white blood count to drop very low and I was pretty sick with a fever for 10 days. Thank God I am much better this week and feeling back to my normal (or abnormal?) self again.

Dr. Cantu came over to check in on me and told us that my white count has now recovered- to a more normal level- all on it’s own!! Which is really great news!

We all decided that I will not be having another dose of that medication again. We will figure out something else at a later date.

For now, the most important thing is that I will be able to come home for Christmas!!!

The other day, our great friend Rosemary offered to help us book our trip to save my mom some aggravation.

It was so nice of her. We knew that this was not a small undertaking!

She proceeded to call Delta airlines from her home in Pennsylvania, with us watching her via video skype chat from Mexico (isn’t technology great?!)

A guy named Mike picked up the phone and she spent the next 10 minutes explaining RSD and all of my special medical requirements for the flight.

“I know this is a lot… and there are going to be some problems… ” Rosemary said.

Mike’s response back was quick and in a cheerful voice he said, “No! Don’t worry! On my line, I don’t have problems...I only have solutions!”

He wasn’t kidding!- Within about 30 minutes we had our new flights booked and Mike had spoken with his supervisor about all of the medical details.

Everything worked out- perfectly! Not one problem!

Even better yet, after hearing our story, Mike said he was honored to be a part of my homecoming and completely waved the fee’s that we owed the airline for canceling our previous flights! We would also be able to sit in the 1^st row of first class on both flights! Awesome!

We thanked him for all of his help and gave him the link to this blog, so he could follow my progress and journey home.

Mom and I are still kind of in shock at how easily it all seems to be coming together this time around! We are so thankful, so happy and soooo excited to be coming home! Finally!!!

Please join us in praying that God continues to clear the path before us and for everything to continue to go this smoothly as we make our way home… for Christmas!!! ahhhh! I still can’t believe it!!

See you all very soon!

In God’s Love,

Jessica

"This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses---“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:16-21)

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Happy Thanksgiving to all of our family and friends!

2011-11-24T09:41:00.002-05:00

We want to wish a blessed Thanksgiving to all!

I don’t know of anyone who has more to be Thankful for this year than our family does.

We have been overwhelmed by the amazing mountains God has moved to allow Jessica to be able to receive the treatments that have been so successful for her and to be cared for by Dr. Cantu, who is dedicated to her complete healing.

What I have come to know and believe is that we have been truly surrounded by very compassionate people. Truly compassionate people are often hard to understand. They take risks most people would never take. They give away what most people would cling to. They reach out and touch when most would hold back with folded arms. Their caring brings them up close where they feel the other persons pain and do whatever is necessary to demonstrate true concern.

Through this journey, God has been our strength—but YOU have all served as his body, his hands and his feet!

Today (and everyday) we thank Him for the truly compassionate people in our lives- our amazing family, friends, church family and community- and all of what you have done for us- I don’t know how we will ever to be able to thank each person who has helped to make Jessica’s recovery possible, but we will find a way! We know we have been so blessed!

So, this Thanksgiving, we want to personally thank you all for being those “compassionate” people and may God bless you all today with a bountiful feast and a truly blessed day!

In God’s love, always,

A most thankful Mom,

Sarah

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy, and with many songs of thanksgiving, I praise him. (Psalm 28:7)

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100,000 views of the blog!!! & Out of the hospital!

2011-11-13T14:53:00.010-05:00

Hi everyone!

Well, I am home from the hospital! Our small glitch in getting the medication turned into a little bit of a big glitch and it took a few days to locate and get it.

Right now I’m running a fever and feeling completely worn out, fatigued and achy as side effects from the infusion, which was expected. Overall, I am doing alright and I’m sure I will be feeling better and have my energy back in a few days once the medicine is out of my system.

I was so surprised to log online today to realize that while I was in the hospital this blog has reached 100,000 views!!!!!!

That’s amazing!!! Thank you to everyone who continues to follow my recovery and keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I will never have words to express my gratitude!

As you know, Friday was Veteran’s Day in the US. What most people probably don’t know is that RSD actually started with our soldiers! The first descriptions of it were documented about 125 years ago during the Civil War (1861-65) by Dr. Silas Weir Mitchell, a young US Army physician, who treated soldiers with gunshot wounds.

He described pain that persisted long after the bullets were removed the soldiers. He noted that the pain was characteristically of a burning nature, and named it "causalgia" (Greek for burning pain) which he attributed to the aftermath of their injuries.

Dr. Weir Mitchell, a neurologist, was very perplexed by what he was observing. He carefully documented how his patients, who were formerly otherwise healthy men, lives had been forever changed by this peculiar, burning pain, that he described it in one article as,

"the most terrible of all the tortures which a nerve wound may inflict."

He finished the same article by stating:

"Of the special cause which provokes it, we know nothing.”

Over the past hundred or so years, a lot of different names have been used to describe this bizarre syndrome- causalgia, algodystrophy, postraumatic dystrophy, Sudeck's atrophy, shoulder-hand syndrome, reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD) and more recently, complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS).

No matter what you decide to call it, RSD/CRPS is now known as a chronic, incurable neurological disorder in which the autonomic nervous system—the system that transfers signals from the central nervous system to various organs throughout the body—malfunctions, causing nerves to misfire and send constant pain signals back to the brain.

Today, research has brought us far from when RSD was first observed during the Civil War. It’s now known that RSD is not thought to have a single cause, but rather multiple causes producing a similar syndrome.

RSD most commonly develops in response to physical trauma-- About 65% of cases of are triggered by minor trauma (soft tissue injury, sprain, twisted ankle, venipuncture, etc). The next most common triggers are the result of bone fractures and surgery.

Current research suggests that an excessive immune response, possibly due to latent infection, may be the culprit, at least in some cases. It can also be brought on by spinal cord disorders, stroke or heart attack.

However, no matter what the underlying cause, the result is the same: horrible, excruciating nerve pain.

On the medically accepted McGill Pain Scale (0=no pain -to- 50=worst pain) RSD (causalgia) is ranked as the most intense and extreme type of pain you can possibly experience… above a bone fracture, cancer pain, childbirth and even above amputation!

McGill pain scale

Tom Haederle of Johns Hopkins University has described RSD like this: "If Hell were a clinical medical condition, it might look something like reflex sympathetic dystrophy."

I think anyone who has suffered with, or watched someone suffer from RSD would have to agree.… It’s that bad.

Dr. Schwartzman, who is internationally known for his extensive work and research in RSD/CRPS over the past 30+ years has said he doesn’t think there is a worse pain problem than RSD. I think he is right.

The bottom line is diagnosis is difficult, prompt treatment is critical and more research is needed.

When I got home from the hospital this afternoon as I was laying in my bed I saw a para-glider fly right by my window!!

His parachute was orange- which is the color of RSD awareness! I think it is a sign of hope... that one day all who suffer with this pain will have the freedom to soar above the mountains created in their lives by this illness.

It definitely looks like a LOT of fun!

Again, thank you to everyone who has helped me to gain my freedom from the pain of RSD, please continue to pray for all of those who are suffering and for a cure to be found, soon. ...100,000 views of this blog-- that is a lot of people! Imagine the awareness we could all raise, together?!

In God's love,

Jessica

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

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At the hospital...

2011-11-03T20:57:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to give a quick update that I am here at the hospital and everything is going well so far. Yesterday morning our wonderful friend Elizabeth accompanied us to the hospital and I was admitted and got up into my room very quickly.

The amazing Dr. Green Shirt met me in my room and introduced me to Dr. Izquierdo, who will be assisting him with my treatment this week. In typical Jessica fashion, I had to give him a nickname as I have with all of my other doctors here! In spanish “Izquierdo” means “Left”… so he is now known as “Dr. Lefty” by me. :)

Yesterday afternoon my mexican grandma, Dr. Rainbow, came to visit and I was able to go and have a nice lunch outside by the pretty water fountain with her, which was great!

There is a gorgeous chapel here and today for the first time I was able to go downstairs for the 7:30 am mass- It was my first time being at a church service in over 5 years!!! It was so special to me! Somehow hearing a sermon, songs and the Lord’s prayer being said in spanish, made it that much more emotional and even more amazing.

God has been so good and so faithful! I am really just overwhelmed by the thought of it all sometimes. The mountains that I have seen moved, literally right before my eyes… It’s amazing, really.

As I sat there reflecting on all I have been carried through, two other fellow RSD patients were heavily on my mind- Irene Turner, who is always leaving lovely messages of hope and inspiration on my blog, had surgery to amputate her finger this morning, in hopes of alleviating her horrible pain, and Blair Webber, who has been in the hospital in Canada with RSD related complications for over 1 month now. I am praying that God will guide each of them to healing, as well as all who are suffering with RSD.

Last night I had an IV Calcium infusion and right now I am just sitting in my room visiting with some friends while waiting to start my first treatment… There was a little glitch in getting the medicine, but as always, Dr. Cantu is on top of it and hopefully it will be arriving within a few hours and we can start later tonight or early tomorrow.

Please pray for the medicine to get here, for the infusion to go smoothly and for the bad side effects that are common with this type of treatment will be minimal (or better yet- none at all!)

Thanks as always!

God bless!

Jessica

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It's RSD Awareness Month!

2011-11-01T03:02:00.022-04:00

Hi everyone!

Happy belated Halloween :)

Before I was sick, my family used to go all out for Halloween. We were always the first house on our street to have our decorations up and my mom was notorious for her clever costume ideas she came up with for my sisters and I. I have many good memories!

So, even though it is not widely celebrated here in Mexico, Yesterday I celebrated my first Halloween in over 5 years!

We made a “Haunted” Gingerbread house…

And I carved a pumpkin!!!

My nurse who has become one of my close friends, Angeles, came over and made Halloween cupcakes with me!

It was her first time ever celebrating Halloween!

My crazy mom agreed to dress up with me and we went trick-or-treating (giving out the cupcakes) to the people we have gotten friendly with in our apartment building!

We were a doctor and a patient.

So original, I know…

(Thanks to Dr. Rainbow for letting my mom borrow her doctors coat! …My costume was obviously courtesy of Hospital San Jose. :)

Later last night a few friends came over to see our costumes, take pictures and eat candy with me!!

It was a great day and my most special Halloween yet!

...Which brings me to today. November 1^st.

November is RSD Awareness month, and as I continue to make great progress in my recovery and experience all of these new, happy memories in my life I continually find myself thinking about all of the people who are still suffering and fighting with the horrible pain this disorder causes every minute of every single day… Especially those I’ve come to know and love through my journey here.

Last November I posted this blog about RSD along with this video, which I think deserves to be re-posted and re-watched-

Much of what I wrote at this time last year remains the same...

RSD is still a horribly painful, complex, mysterious and very confusing disease. There are still more questions than there are answers for many RSD patients.

We still need more awareness. We still need more research on the causes, prevention and treatment options for RSD… We still desperately need a cure.

However, this year, I write with much more hope and confidence that we are getting closer.

I have seen firsthand how far the wisdom, compassion, knowledge and dedication of the right doctor can go to bring even a patient with one of the worst cases of RSD, like me, back to the level and quality of life that I am now blessed to enjoy.

My hope and my prayer is that there will continue to be more answers, for all of us, who are dealing with this illness and for continued perseverance and understanding for the doctors who I know are working so hard on our behalf to lead us back to better, less-painful lives- especially Dr. Cantu and his team here!

-------------

Tomorrow I will be going back into the hospital for treatment to strengthen my bones. This is a new treatment for me (probably one of the only medications in the world that I have never had before!) so please pray that I tolerate the infusions well with no adverse effects so that my time in the hospital will be minimal and I will be strong enough to come home!!

Thank you for continuing to check my progress and keep me in your prayers. I will update again in a day or two from the hospital and be posting more information about RSD during awareness month.

God bless!

Jessica

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)

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Exit plan delayed...

2011-10-04T10:56:00.005-04:00

I am sorry for the delay in this update, but these past few weeks have been so crazy! My family- both here in Mexico and back in Florida, have been getting everything ready for my homecoming.

My incredible dad and uncle Vinnie oversaw a large construction project in our home and once it was complete, my amazing aunt Carol decorated the room and bathroom for me. Everything on their side is ready!

On this end we were busy packing up the apartment (which as you can imagine after 2 years here—is a huge undertaking!), and saying our good-byes to the people who have become my second Mexican family.

Last week my mom spent 3 hours on the phone with various airlines going over my special medical circumstances. The flights were booked—for today, October 4^th. Leaving Monterrey at 12pm.

We called everyone in our family and told them we would be coming home next week! Everyone was ecstatic, but my 88 year old Nanny was definitely the happiest of all! She screamed and laughed saying repeatedly, “My prayers have been answered!!!… My prayers have been answered!!!” It was so cute!

Anyway, on that same afternoon at 4pm I was scheduled to go for some final tests that needed to be done before I could leave.

I was very excited and kept telling everyone there that these were my “last Mexican medical tests”…

…Or not.

One of the tests I had is a Densitometry scan that checks your bone density. My results were not good at all. My scores show the highest fracture risk possible in both my spine and hips. It’s a miracle that I haven’t broken several bones already. We were told I will need to go back in the hospital and have some different types of treatment before it will be safe for me to travel.

Wow. Talk about a quick change of plans.

Needless to say, we were pretty bummed. We had to call back everyone in our family (not even 4 hours later!) and tell them this news—our exit plan has been delayed.

We expected everyone would be upset, like us, and they were… especially little Michelle. But once again, my Nanny’s response was the best and caught me totally off guard. “Its ok!" She said, "Honey, you have been sick for nearly 6 years… if you need to wait 6 more weeks, or however long, you just wait. My prayer HAS been answered- You are better!! Keep trusting in God, because he knows the right timing. You do not.”

Wow. I guess with age comes great wisdom.

For the past 2 years on my wall in my room I have this verse in both english and spanish-

Proverbs 3:5-6- “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

To be honest, I never really paid much attention to what the next part of that verse was though, until now…

Proverbs 3:7-8-“…Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. ….Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.”

Trust, healing and strength... Those are promises I can count on!

Thanks again everyone, for all of your continued support. My hope and prayer is to get to be home before Thanksgiving to celebrate with my family. Thank you for keeping my family and I in your prayers!

In God’s love, Jessica

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BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!!

2011-09-16T10:47:00.012-04:00

It is often said that a picture is worth 1,000 words....

"Salida", in Spanish, means exit!!

Today is Mexican Independence Day, and with the biggest smile on my face I am excited to tell everyone that I am celebrating my independence too!!

I AM FINALLY ABLE TO COME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our hope is to be able to leave in a few weeks! Please pray for us that everything goes smoothly and all things continue to come together to make this possible!

I can't believe this day is finally here.... Nothing is impossible with God!!

See you all soon! :)

In His awesome power and love, always,
Jessica

"God guards you from every evil, he guards your very life. He guards you when you leave and when you return, he guards you now, he guards you always." (Ps. 121 7-8 MSG)

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On top of the world!

2011-09-06T11:21:00.018-04:00

My sister Katherine is here in Monterrey with me!! We have been having the most amazing time together. I had not seen her since March and she was amazed with how much more progress I have made and how much more I am able to do with her now! We have been catching up, playing games, cooking and eating (a lot!) together. Just doing sister things. We're having a blast!

Yesterday our Mom surprised us and we went on a little day trip to Obispado! El Obispado is a museum of historical Mexican military artifacts (swords, guns, cannon balls, uniforms, etc) and some religious artwork as well.

We didn’t go there to see any of that though. We actually didn’t even go inside the museum at all! See, El Obispado is located high up in the hills of Monterrey and we have been told by our friends that the panoramic view of the entire city that you can see from up there was quite incredible.

Oh my gosh! They were right!!

Stunning.

Words will never do it justice.

We just sat there, smiling, speechless. Completely in awe of what we saw.

I looked around me- the Sierra Madre mountain range in front of me, the Cerro de la silla next to me, the glowing sky above me, my mom and sister, smiling behind me.

Surreal.

I tried to take a mental snapshot while praying I would never ever be able to forget this moment… of literally, being on top of the world!

I than decided to wheel closer to the ledge and look over- down at the city of Monterrey below.

My eyes found it immediately- the helicopter landing pad that signifies a hospital.

There it was. Hospital San Jose. Right beneath my feet!

I counted up to the 8th floor and found my room.

At first I got very, very excited, “Oh my god!!! Look mom!! Look!! That’s my room!! How cool is that?! Take a picture of me!!!”

I may have even started waving, rapidly while screaming (very) loudly “Hiiiiii Dr. Cantuuuu!!!!!!” …As if he could see, or hear me from the hospital or something.

Oh boy. I guess that is what 5 years of isolation, trapped sick indoors can do to a person?? Wow. How embarrassing. :)

However once I got over my initial excitement (and took a few dozen pictures) I was quickly brought right back into that room. The memories of the very long year of laying in there staring out of that very window up at this very hill… not knowing when, how, or if, I would ever get on the outside again…

I never thought I’d ever be seeing this view of the hospital. From up high, looking down. From the outside, looking in.

So many emotions became very real and overwhelming.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“What’s wrong?” Katherine asked. “Are you crying because you’re happy, or sad?”

“I don’t know! I don’t think either… I’m just so thankful.”

I was feeling a lot of things in that special moment with my mom and sister yesterday, but the feeling of thankfulness was definitely felt the strongest.

Thankful for this moment, this family, this time, this place, these doctors, this experience, this life, this God… all of it.

I never could have visualized or imagined this day, my first time out with my sister Katherine in over 5 years! It was perfect and I hope we never forget this feeling of literally being “on top of the world”!

We made it through the valley to stand upon the mountain! Thank you Jesus!

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth!" Psalm 121

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My 2 Years in Mexico Anniversary!

2011-08-21T12:28:00.025-04:00

Yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of coming to Mexico!

On August 20^th, 2009, I got on an air ambulance, hooked up to several IV medications, feeding tubes and in horrendous pain to come to Monterrey and undergo the experimental Ketamine Coma treatment… My very last hope for survival.

Yesterday on my 2 year Mexico ‘birthday’- I went OUT for the very first time in 5 years!!!—not to a hospital or doctors office—but for FOOD!!! With my Mom and my Mexican sister Cindel, her brother Alex, and her friends Aleyda, and Cabiria!!!

I had the most amazing time! I still can’t stop smiling! :)

I have been wanting to go out somewhere and see some of Monterrey for such a long time! Before yesterday I had only seen whatever there is to see between going from our apartment to Hospital San Jose… which isn’t much!

Yesterday morning, on my 2 year anniversary here, I really felt it was time to try and go somewhere. My mom said “Where would you want to go?” I told her I didn’t care, as long as I could go with somewhere with Cindel, who has become like a sister to me. A lot of the time, especially with young people, when things start going bad, friends distance themselves from your suffering. But not Cindel. I am blessed to have her as my sister and even more blessed to now get to share happy and fun times with her and her friends!

The next step was to call Dr. Cantu and ask him if it was ok to go out. He wanted to know “Who with? Where to? What about this? What about that?” I felt like I was playing ’20 Questions’ with him! It was kind of like talking to my father! and really, that is what he has become to me... my Mexican father :) I know he could tell this was really important to me. He agreed I could go, but than spoke with mom and gave her an extensive rundown of “the rules.” Basically I was to be treated like bubble girl. At the first sign of over-stimulation we would call it quits and need to come home.

Deal!

So we got ready to go out! After Mom helped me get dressed she wouldn't stop looking at me. I asked her why. She said, "Jess... you look...so... NORMAL!?!" Gee... Thanks Mom! haha. Actually, it's the best compliment I have ever received. :)

We took this picture as a joke for Dr. Cantu-- to tell him this is how we decided to transport me, Mexican style... in the back of a pick-up truck! The bumper sticker says, "I'm Special"... perfect! (By the way...we didn't actually go this way!) haha

My immune system is still very suppressed, so germs are a huge concern. But not to fear!! Aleyda came equipped with lysol, sanitization cloths and ex-germ spray to clean everything I was going to come in contact with—she even cleaned my menu, table, and silverware!! Everyone in the restaurant was staring at us like we were crazy, but that’s ok!

We went to an Italian restaurant called L’Anfora. It’s really pretty with a wooden stove in the center where you can watch while they cook the food. It also has a cave in the basement!

This was my first time ordering off of a menu in over 5 years! I couldn’t decide what to get! I wanted everything!!

I ended up ordering Penne alla Vodka! It was sooo delicious!!! We also got a few appetizers of Calamari, Eggplant, Octopus, Mushrooms in a red pepper sauce. Yummm!

This was a really special day for my mom and I, as it was our first time out together! I just kept looking over at her, watching her smiling at me. To see looks of happiness, joy and amazement replacing the looks of concern, sadness and worry on her face to me is worth more than anything in this world. She's the most amazing person, mother and best friend that I have and I am so happy that I am better and now she is better too!

They told them it was my birthday! The waiters sang the Mexican birthday song called “Las Mananitas” to me!

The song goes like this: Estas son las mañanitas, que cantaba el Rey David/ Hoy por ser día de tu santo, te las cantamos a ti/ Despierta, mi bien, despierta, mira que ya amaneció/ Ya los pajarillos cantan, la luna ya se metió.

Translation: This is the morning song that King David sang/ Because today is your day we're singing it for you/ Wake up, my dear, wake up, look it is already dawn/ The birds are already singing and the moon has set.

It’s funny and ironic that they sang this because I kept saying to everyone yesterday that somebody should pinch me and wake me up… because to be out, having this much fun and feeling this good, it must be a dream… I must still be asleep in the coma!

After dinner I still felt like I had some energy so we went to the nearby frozen yogurt place! It’s called Yummoramma and my mom is always going there to get me yogurt—probably about 3 times a week! They have 12 different flavors and tons of different toppings you can add! I tried every single one! The lady who works there came over to me and told me it was “nice to finally meet their best customer!”

Two years ago I would have rather died than continue to live being so sick and in horrific pain, unable to move my legs, tolerate lights or sounds, eat, or even be touched or hugged.

Today, I LOVE my life! I AM awake! I feel ALIVE again!

I am eternally grateful for the renewal of life that I have received here and I am so excited about the future…a future I was told by so many doctors that I would never have!

Our God is an AWESOME God!

Thank you Mom, Cindel, Aleyda, Cabiria and Alex for making this day so special for me. I love you guys!

In God’s amazing love,

Jessica

Special announcement! I have very big and exciting news to share soon! Plans are being made and as soon as I have more details I will let everyone know! It has been all of your support, love and prayers that have helped me get this far and I can't wait to share the next step of the journey with you all! So, Stay tuned!

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Nerves...Streams...Pools (Update)

2011-08-02T10:38:00.007-04:00

Most mornings mom and I go for a walk (well, “roll” for me) around the parking garage that is part of our building. If we go early enough, before it is deathly hot out, you get a great breeze and awesome views of the mountain. It’s great exercise (for mom) and I take pictures of all of the cool different license plates I come across (there are so many in Mexico!)

On one of our walks a few weeks ago we had a little mishap. The short version of the story is while being pushed in my wheelchair I was accidentally pushed into a wall. The long story isn’t much more interesting, so I’ll leave it at that. I hit my left foot pretty hard. We quickly came back upstairs and got me into bed with pillows under my foot, but within 2 hours it was very swollen, throbbing, and already bruising because I am on blood thinners. Not good! ...time to call Dr. Cantu.

He answered. “Bueno!”

“Um…Hi…Dr. Cantu?... I think Jess broke her foot.”

Silence.

This poor doctor. I could almost hear his eyes bulging out of his head. Yet, he never loses his cool, ever. We love that about him.

He came over later and checked it out. He said because of the osteoporosis I have and how weak my bones are from being in a bed for years, it possibly was fractured…but even if I had an Xray and it was, he wouldn’t want to cast it because immobilization is one of the worst things you can do with RSD.

He gave me some extra medication to take for the pain and swelling and said we’d keep a close eye on it.

Unfortunately over the next week it was very obvious this was not healing the right way.

The left foot was still bruised, swollen and stiff, but that was to be expected… seeing as how the left foot was actually injured. What was more concerning was what started happening to my right foot.

In just 4 days, the right had become even more swollen and discolored than the left and I was having increased pain and uncomfortable sensations (like prickling running water.) By looking at my feet, you’d never be able to guess which foot was actually banged into the wall! So weird!

RSD is truly so bizarre. It’s hard to understand and even harder to explain. But I’ll try.

The best explanation I have heard for this is to try and imagine that your nerves are streams that carry information into little pools that form your brain. When you hurt your foot, the pain signals run along the stream that will get them to the pool the fastest- to alert you and protect you. For example, if you're stepping on something hot, your brain sends the signal to retract it ASAP.

Perceiving and interpreting pain is one of the brain’s highest functions.

As far as the brain is concerned, more pain=more damage. More damage=threat to survival. Sounds good. Having this built in ‘alarm system’ is a wonderful thing… until it malfunctions, as it does in RSD.

The brain can’t tell the difference between a malfunctioning nervous system and a healthy one… it just knows the signals it is being sent and the more signals that travel along these streams, the wider and deeper they become.

Now, picture the little pool in your brain that is responsible for perceiving pain in your left foot… and then right next to it is another little pool that is responsible for your right.

When the brain is flooded by a strong acute pain signal, the small pools overflow into each other, their water gets all mixed up. The brain becomes confused and isn’t sure where the pain it is feeling is coming from! Is it the leg, or the hand?… the left, or the right?

So it might start to interpret it as both.

Merging pools activate different pain streams and flood the brain with further confusion.

The thing about this type of spread is that it is actually taking place in the part of the brain that perceives that body part, rather than the actual body part itself.

So, my left foot was acutely injured, but because my most severe and remaining RSD symptoms have always been on my right side, years of chronic pain have made those streams deep and wide. My brain sent the ‘injured foot’ signal along the path it knew would reach my ‘alert system’ the quickest.

My nervous system was responding as if I had two injured feet- pain, swelling, discoloration and all!

Dr. Cantu was not happy to see this occurring and felt at that point having a series of booster treatments would be the best thing.

The boosters went really well and the swelling in both feet is much less. The purple discoloration in the left foot is almost completely gone and the movement is back to normal. The right foot still has some swelling and odd sensations, but they are less frequent and intense. I have never had boosters after an ‘acute’ injury before now, and the quick transformation is amazing to me. This stuff works!

My mom has felt so bad about this that I felt like even writing about it on here would have been like pouring salt into the wound. I keep telling her it’s not her fault. These things are bound to happen now that I am moving around a lot more, and the beautiful thing is that I am able to move around because I am feeling SO good!!

I’d appreciate prayers that my feet continue to heal in the right direction and that any possible fracture in the left foot will heal completely, on it's own, so that it doesn’t re-trigger this cycle again.

I am thankful for a God who saves, a doctor who cares and a treatment that works for me.

...I know I am blessed.

Thanks as always for your prayers.

In God’s love,

Jessica

--------

PS- Thanks for your prayers for my friends! Kerri has left the hospital and is on her way back to Pennsylvania! Also, I heard yesterday from Juan Pablo’s mom that he was successfully transferred back onto his own ventilator and remained on it throughout the day! He must continue to maintain stable o2 levels on his own ventilator before he can go home. Today he is that much closer! Continue to keep him in your prayers!

Ephesians 3:20

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

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My special little friend

2011-07-29T09:39:00.014-04:00

Last year around this time a very special little boy (and his awesome family!) came into my life.

His name is Juan Pablo and he is 2 years old.

Last June one of our Monterrey friends, Sylvia, had gone to a funeral for one of her neighbors. She was so moved by the sermon that the priest had given that she felt compelled to go up to him after the service and talk with him. She told him she was on her way to visit a friend who had been sick in the hospital for a long time (me). The priest asked her if she would like a ride, because he just so happened to be on his way there too.

She accepted his offer and when they arrived at Hospital San Jose, the priest, Father Carlos, decided to come up to the 8^th floor with her to meet mom and I and to pray with us.

It is a visit I will never, ever forget.

I was feeling very discouraged that day. My discharge plan from the hospital had fallen through… again… because I was sick with yet another infection. I was feeling miserable. Father Carlos spent time listening to me and than prayed for me. He told me that God knew what He was doing, even if I don’t ‘get it’ right now. This delay in leaving the hospital was for a purpose… he assured me, His answer is the right answer and His timing would be the right timing.

I definitely needed to hear that message and I know God used him to speak it to me that day, but it is what he told me next that will make me remember the visit forever.

He said that the reason he was visiting the hospital was to see a little boy who was in the pediatric ICU on the 4^th floor.

He then shared with me the story of this brave little boy, who had spent most of his nearly 2 years of life, fighting for it, in the hospital.

This is Juan Pablo. He's 2 and he's adorable!

Juan Pablo was born with Metatropic Dysplasia, which is really rare form of dwarfism. It’s so rare, in fact, that he is the only known case of it in all of Mexico!

He is the youngest child of his amazing parents Roger and Marus. They have 3 other children- Paulina, Roger Jr. and Marianna. Metatropic dysplasia is a genetic condition, however, no one else in his family has it.

This type of dwarfism causes major problems in the musculoskeletal system such as limb deformities, joint contractures and scoliosis. Juan Pablo’s spinal curvature is so extreme that it has compromised his respiratory and digestive systems, leaving him dependent on a ventilator to breathe and on a feeding tube to eat.

The top specialist for this disorder is Dr. Mackenzie at DuPont Hospital in Delaware, where he has traveled to for spinal surgery and follow-up care. He will probably need to have numerous surgeries there in his lifetime.

Ironic how Juan Pi has to travel to the US for his treatment, and I have to travel from the US here.

He is in many ways my kindred spirit… We both have spent a lot of time in hospitals far away from the comforts of home.

I had a huge stuffed animal bear in my hospital room, a gift from my dad, that I called “Monty” (short for Monterrey!) I told Father Carlos that I wanted Monty to go down in Juan Pablo’s room. I know how lonely, long and scary each night in the hospital is and I knew Juan Pablo needed him more than I did. After all I was 22... he was only 2!

Juan Pablo's amazing family with Monty

The next day Juan Pablo’s family came up to my room to get the bear. Hearing what their little son has gone through in his short life… wow. Talk about a wake up call! They are such an incredibly strong family.

From that point on whenever I was having a rough time I just thought of Juan Pablo and I got the strength to get through it, whatever it was.

Juan Pablo's family's nick name for him is "Juan Pi"-- they also call him "Cham Pi"-- short for Champion. And that he certainly is!

Juan Pi has been back in Hospital San Jose for nearly 1 month now and is still unable to be transferred back onto his regular home ventilator without being unable to get enough oxygen and having episodes of tachycardia. His liver is enlarged. His lungs are full of secretions. He is sick.

I know those words that Father Carlos spoke over me are true-… There was a purpose in that delay for me—and I know part of that was so I could come to know Juan Pablo and his family. I consider them a part of my own and I love them so much.

God has a plan for Juan Pi, I am sure of it. However, right now the thought of him laying in that ICU instead of being at home with his loving family really breaks my heart. I wish there was something I could do for him… but I think the best thing I have to offer is prayer.

So I’m writing this to ask everyone to please keep him in your prayers too. He needs to get better, he just has to…

Keep fighting little Champion, You are so loved.

Thank you for praying for my special little friend.

…God’s timing is always the right timing and His answer is the always the right answer…

In God’s love,

Jessica

PS- Today is Juan Pi's amazing father, Roger's, birthday! Happy Birthday Roger and thank you for being such a great example of unconditional fatherly love to your son, even under the most difficult circumstances.

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A Special Visit :)

2011-07-25T11:58:00.007-04:00

On Saturday Mom and I had a special visit from Kerri Jarvis and her wonderful family- dad Mark, mom Kathy and sister Erin.

Kerri is a fellow RSD Ketamine Coma patient and she is back in Monterrey for the removal of all 4 of her wisdom teeth and for ketamine boosters.

Even though our parents had spent a lot of time getting to know each other in the hospital, Kerri and I had only met once, briefly. On the day she was being discharged from the hospital she was wheeled into my room and we shared our common ‘battle’ stories with each other. At the time she was still very weak and couldn’t sit up for very long.

When Kerri WALKED into our apartment yesterday, I couldn’t believe how different and great she looked! Yes, she is walking again! (and she has a really cool pink cane!)

Kerri’s mom reminded me that on that day we first met last year I was celebrating having just eaten my very first french fry in years. I was so happy and the Jarvis family enhanced my excitement by rejoicing with me in that milestone.

Tonight we made and ate homemade pizzas together! We also ate lasagna! And cake!

The day was extra special because it was also Kerri’s birthday.

Mom made her an oreo cake with vanilla frosting and I decorated it. It’s all red and green sprinkles in honor of Mexico! I call it a ‘Mexican Explosion’ cake. :)

I know that spending her 23^rd birthday -in Mexico- for medical treatment- is definitely not quite what she had in mind, but I was so happy to get to be a part of it and to spend time with her—this time sharing health, happiness and funny stories instead of battle tales.

We serve a God of miracles!

Kerri’s dental surgery will be tomorrow afternoon. There is power in prayer. Please join me in praying for wisdom and guidance for Dr. Cantu and her oral surgeon, that the surgery goes smoothly, and most importantly, that she does not have an RSD flare up. Pray for strength for Kerri and her family today as they wait and prepare and for her continued and complete healing.

She has come so far and I know she is in the best place possible- in the safe and capable hands of God & Dr. Cantu.

Thanks for the prayers!

xoxo Jessica

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Sliding Doors.... & 90,000 views of the blog!!

2011-07-23T10:55:00.006-04:00

Earlier this week I watched a movie a friend had lent me called "Sliding Doors." Its an older movie from the 90s, but it was new to me. (I know, I must live under a rock or something..?) I had no idea what the movie was going to be about or how it would impact my thought process that night as it did.

As the movie starts out we see the main character Helen (Gwyneth Paltrow) living a comfortable, great life in a nice apartment in England with her author boyfriend, Jerry, (who, unbeknownst to her, cheats on her everyday while shes at work...)

She goes off to work that morning like any other, but arrives only to be told that she has been fired. Bummer.

So she packs up her stuff and heads to the train station to go back home, but just as she is approaching the train the sliding doors close right in front of her and the intercom announces that the next train is not for another hour.

Obviously this is not Helen's best day. We've all been there too...

The rest of the movie parallels Helen's life in two scenarios...The one above, where she misses the train and the second in which she arrives just a few seconds earlier and gets on.

The way her life plays out in each are in complete contrast with each other. One seemingly insignificant occurrence—missing a train—not only altered the course of her day, but of her life in the bigger picture as well.

Timing really is everything.

Well, this is what got me thinking…How would my life be if certain things had happened differently? Or had not ever happened? What would my life look like right now? What would I be doing? Who would I be doing it with? …or on the flip side, Would I still even be alive at all!?

Those questions, their answers and the emotions that come along with them are overwhelming and paralyzing. The possible scenarios are endless.

Does my life resemble in any way, shape or form what I would have imagined it to or would have wanted it to, at 23 years old? Umm... No. Not even in the slightest bit.

I am learning that entertaining these thoughts really does nothing except to invite feelings of insecurity, doubt and fear… and this is exactly where my mind was going with all of this.

I needed a distraction, now, fast.

So I decided to turn on my computer...only to see in the time I was spending sitting here thinking these overwhelming “what if” thoughts about my life, this blog had just reached over 90,000 views! On YouTube, the “Counting on a Coma” report that FOX news did about my story has had nearly 50,000 views! I have several emails of encouragement in my inbox, many from others who are suffering in a similar way, some without a diagnosis, who after hearing my story are now getting the help that they need, or feeling hopeful about their situations again… This all completely blows my mind. How God would choose to use my story and pain to help others is beyond my comprehension. My strength is instantly renewed, I am so incredibly humbled.

Sure, my life may not look the way I envisioned. But God has made such incredible provision for me along the way! This is what I need to focus on and be constantly aware of. Not the doubts. Not the “what if’s”.

Interestingly, in end of Sliding Doors, Helen’s life in both scenarios has the same end result... she is in an accident. However, every detail leading up to how she arrives there—to the type of accident, the circumstances, the opportunities and challenges, the hospital she is in, the doctors who attempt to save her life, the people who are sitting at her bedside--- are all completely different.

Wow. We don’t know why some things happen. We may never know. Even though we may not always ‘see’ it or ‘feel’ it, God is always at work orchestrating our lives—every little, seemingly insignificant detail! My job, our job, is just to trust Him in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.

That sounds simple enough. But it’s a hard lesson, one I am sure I will spend the rest of my life learning over and over, and over, again. Just like I did tonight.

I do know that He wants us to live way beyond the shadows of our doubts! And that is a promise I can most definitely trust in, always.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has followed my story this far. 90,000 hits to this blog… just awesome! Thank you for all of your love, encouragement, support and prayers. I know there is no way I will ever be able to thank each person individually, but I just want to you to know that I am doing incredibly well and you have made a difference in my life, more than you will ever know and more than I will ever be able to say.

I thank God for you all!!

In God's incredible love,
Jessica

John 11:14

When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

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Blessings through raindrops

2011-07-03T19:09:00.012-04:00

It has been raining a lot this past week here, thanks to tropical storm Arlene.

Finally, yesterday afternoon the rain cleared up and the sun came out. Mom and I jumped at the chance to go out and get some fresh air. There’s a little area on the first floor of our building that overlooks the mountain. I love to sit down there. Seeing the sky, listening to the birds and feeling the breeze, to me, is as amazing as it gets.

So mom helped me wheel down and she went back upstairs to make us lunch.

As soon as she left me the sky started to get really dark. Clouds started rolling in and within minutes I couldn’t even see the mountain anymore! I knew it was going to rain, hard, any second.

And it did. As I sat there getting completely soaked I found myself trying to remember when the last time I had actually felt rain on my skin was!

It didn’t take me long to remember.

It was when I was in Tampa Florida to be evaluated by Dr. Kirkpatrick to see if I was a candidate to come to Monterrey for the Ketamine Coma study with Dr. Cantu.

As we got ready to leave his office it began pouring rain. In Florida these rain storms usually only last 10-15 minutes, so we waited…and waited. But it didn’t stop.

We finally had to just go for it.The EMT’s pulled the ambulance up as close as they could to the door and worked as quickly as possible to get me in.

Unfortunately, not quick enough.

The pain of the rain hitting my skin was so intense… like both hot drops of lava and cold sharp ice picks hitting me all at once. I can’t even describe it. I decided to try and just hold my breath and stay calm so everyone could do their jobs more quickly and effectively.

Well, that plan went out the window the second a few raindrops landed on my right arm, which at that time was covered with about 50 open, bleeding skin lesions.

That did it. I completely lost it. I shrieked in pain.

By the time we were in the ambulance I was in crisis mode. The EMT’s looked on in horror as my arm changed colors, bled, contorted into weird positions and my entire body shook uncontrollably. They tried to help, but there was nothing they could do.

I remember the EMT who was riding in back with me, commenting that every hair on my body was standing straight up, like I had been electrocuted. If only he knew, that is exactly what RSD pain feels like... all of the time.

He turned to my mom, “Is it always this bad? I have never seen anything like this before.”

Yeah, that pretty much sums up RSD pain too… not like anything you’ve seen or felt before, ever.

It was only a 5 minute ride, but it seemed so much longer.

As I thought back to that last time I felt the rain, I was overwhelmed with how different it felt to me now.

Here I was, getting drenched… and I felt… wet. No boiling lava or stabbing icicles. Just happily wet!

When my mom realized it was raining, she rushed downstairs expecting to rescue me… but instead, she found me sitting there, taking pictures of the (now invisible) mountain, loving the feeling of the rain! We both sat in the rain together for a few minutes literally soaking it all in, thanking God for bringing us to this point.

I had heard a song earlier this month that I really liked. It is called “Blessings” by Laura Story. The chorus of the song goes, “What if your blessings come through raindrops/ What if your healing comes through tears/ What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near/ What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise."

I liked the song originally because of its message of how even in the hardest, most painful things we will ever go through, God is always there to love us, guide us and help us through.

But now, this song has a dual meaning to me... Yesterday, my blessing literally came through being able to feel raindrops!

These are the pictures I took as the storm approached:

This is what it looked like when mom brought me outside

This is about 3 minutes later!!!

Thank you Jesus for the rain and for bringing us through it! Amen!

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Like new!

2011-06-23T20:45:00.008-04:00

Yesterday we removed the final bandages from my incision, at first I was scared to even look... but I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised.

The first thing that I noticed right away was that the hole where my feeding tube used to be is gone! That was a surprise!

Even though the tube itself had been removed almost a year ago, in its place I had been left with an oddly-shaped hole that looked like a very misplaced belly button. (Attractive, I know…)

It turned out during this surgery that entire area had to be cut out and removed because it was directly attached to the mass underneath.

A blessing in disguise! Now you would never even be able to tell that a 2 foot long feeding tube once resided there!

It's like new!

The second thing that I noticed was how great the incision itself looked and how quickly it has healed. It is perfectly straight and the scar is barely noticeable.

I have two other large scars on my abdomen from previous surgeries in 2007 & 2008. When the bandages came off of those, I looked, and felt, like Frankenstein!

But not this time.

Dr. Balli decided that for this surgery it would be best if he didn’t use any large sutures or staples at all—he didn’t want to introduce anything into that area that my body might decide to “attack”.

Instead, he stitched each layer of skin and muscle back together, individually, with the smallest sutures possible, from the inside out. It looks fantastic.

Again, like new!

The next thing, was not something that could be ‘noticed’, but had to be felt...

Before the surgery I had been having a very specific area of sharp pain in the lower left part of my stomach. Whenever I touched there I would get a pain that felt similar to when a dentist probes a bad cavity in your mouth with his little metal tool—a very quick, unpleasant, electrical shock type of pain.

Yesterday, as I cautiously touched that area, part of me was waiting to feel the same shocking sensation...

But it was gone!! Completely gone.

No more hole from the feeding tube, no more granuloma and no more pain.

Seriously, like new!

I know to say I am pleasantly ‘surprised’ about these things is probably not the best word choice, but I am just really happy and really thankful.

Thankful for Dr. Cantu's wisdom and insight, thankful for Dr. Balli's surgical skill and technique most of all, thankful to Jesus, who makes all things new!

Thankful to everyone for the continued prayers,,,Just thankful for everything!

Please keep the prayers coming, not only for me, but for all of my friends who are in need.

In God's love, Jessica

Revelation 21:5 “See, I am making all things new.”

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Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-19T08:41:00.005-04:00

Dad and me

I know I always write about my mom, since she is here with me physically as my advocate and source of strength all of the time, however, my Dad has been a very important part of my journey here as well, as a source of strength both emotionally and spiritually.

So, today, Father’s Day, I thought I’d share a little bit about him.

To start with the basics…My Dad’s name is David. He is 57. He loves the beatles and he loves to read. He is a huge American history ‘buff’ and He is a computer genius. He enjoys collecting things (too numerous to mention!) and he loves doing puzzles.

He can answer any trivia question on any of these topics and he can hold a conversation with anyone, at any time.

He is hilarious and he is always quick to have something witty to respond back with to any comment.

His greatest passions in life are Jesus and his family.

He loves being a volunteer fireman.

After my sister was born, my Dad was feeling very outnumbered in our home. He decided that he needed a place to go where he could just be a ‘guy’ and do ‘guy’ things. And he found that place at the local fire department.

Yes, I guess you know you have had too many daughters when you are willing to go and throw yourself into a burning building just to have some male bonding!

But while everyone else saw him as a strong fireman and leader at work---by day---by night, he was back to playing the part he was born for- the role of Dad.

He has always been the type of dad who has found joy in doing whatever brought joy to his daughters.

He will probably kill me for sharing this, but my Dad is one of probably only a few fathers out there that I know of did this for his daughters… he played dolls with us.

But oh, he did not just play. He brought them to life! He would give them unique names, make up funny voices for them and hilarious stories about them.

We had years of endless fun doing this. I honestly don’t know who enjoyed these games more… us or him! (Actually, I think Mom did, because as long as daddy was playing with us- we were entertained and not bothering her!)

My Dad loves Jesus and his faith defines who he is more than anything else.

This was most evident when after going through the coma and having memory loss, the first thing that I recalled about my Dad was that he loved the bible!

It wasn’t his name, his age, his profession, his hobbies, or anything else that came to my mind first, it was his love for Christ.

I think that is pretty meaningful and speaks volumes to the type of man my Dad is.

For as long as I can remember, every night before bed my Dad would tell me bible stories. He would not just simply read them though…just like he did with the dolls, he knew how to make these stories come alive, too!

Yes, David, Goliath, Moses and even Jesus each had their own special ‘voices’ and ‘personalities’ that Dad would put on to go along with each story!

I am so thankful my Dad instilled the truths in those stories into my heart and mind at such a young age. I never could have known just how much I would depend on those messages of God’s love to get me through my illness.

I’m so thankful that God has given my dad to me as my earthly father and I am so thankful to my Dad for teaching me about Him, my heavenly father.

It has been the greatest, most valuable gift he could have ever given me.

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Dad, You are a great living example of this verse!

Thank you for teaching me, loving me, correcting me and guiding me. Thanks for being a wonderful father, one who loves unconditionally and who would sacrifice everything he has in his possession for his childs health and happiness.

I love you!

Happy Father’s Day!

Jessica xo

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We don't have to plan...

2011-06-16T10:29:00.002-04:00

Since my Mom first began this blog the header at the top has always read “Jessica’s Journey” with Jeremiah 29:11 underneath it. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord….”

Whose plans? Oh right, His. Not ours.

How easy it is to sometimes lose track of that.

You’re going down this road, thinking you have it all figured out, and sometimes you miss the red lights, speed bumps and nails in the road that are being thrown in your path to slow you down or turn you in another direction entirely.

Ignore these things long enough and pretty soon what you are left with is a flat tire.

That is what this past month has felt like for my family and me, only we had two flat tires—both my Dad and I found out that we needed surgery. Both of us were admitted to the hospital and ended up having our surgeries done on the same day.

In a matter of a few weeks we went from my Dad packing up our house in New York in preparation for his move back down to Florida with my sister Michelle. My sister Katherine packing up her dorm and preparing to move in with a friend and Mom and me beginning to plan for the next step to take in my health journey as well…. These plans all came to a halt.

“I”….”My”….”We”…Our”…

Yikes.

Those words of self-reliance.

We were certainly making a lot of our own plans.

What is still amazing to me is how God will make himself more known to you than before during that time while you are sitting there, on the side of the road, feeling totally confused and wondering how you were going to even begin to change this tire.

He will send in special people to wait with you, help you remove the nails, to lend you their spare and ultimately get you back on the road.

So many of you have done that for my family and I and we are so thankful for everyone of you.

So… How do you not plan for the future? Well, I still don’t know the answer to that and I am sure that I never will. Actually, I hope I never do.

What I do know though, is that as soon as “I” begin to feel like “I” know the path “I” should take… it means that “I” am the one making the decisions.

For now, we will be content to continue to take it one day at a time, just as we have done this entire time.

For today we are rejoicing in the fact that my Dad and I are both out of our respective hospitals. We are praising God that I am having minimal post operative pain and no flare up of RSD pain. We are trusting that even though we do not understand why these flat tires were placed in our path, God has the entire road map layed out before him. We only see what is in front of us right now, but He sees the entire journey- beginning, middle and end.

We don’t have to plan.

I ask for prayers for my family that we are better able to discern and pay attention to the traffic stops and speed bumps along the way as we recover from these flat tires and move on to the next step of our journey.

We are still awaiting my biopsy results and I ask for prayers that they are favorable and do not show any surprises. I am running a low-grade fever, so we are going to run more blood cultures today to make sure I do not have some type of infection. Please pray that I do not, as infections for my body are never a good thing. Hopefully the fever is just due to some inflammation I am having post-surgery.

I especially ask for prayer today for my friend Blair, another Ketamine coma patient from Canada, who is in the hospital and very sick. I know that I have some amazing prayer warriors who read this blog- God hears and I know He answers. Pray for wisdom and compassion for his doctors and peace and healing for him.

Thank you everyone for your continued support. I am feeling shockingly well. My outcome from this surgery is much better than any of my doctors (and even I) expected. Dr. Cantu expected me to need to stay in the hospital at least 2 months, we were prepared to need to rehabilitate my GI system and go back on TPN (IV nutrition), the nurses were all taking bets on how long I would need to be admitted to the ICU post surgery for pain control. None of this happened.

Thank you for praying, believing.

In God’s Love,

Jessica

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Happy Birthday John!

2011-06-14T08:51:00.009-04:00

I wanted to write this in honor of my friend John Roach’s birthday. He is 52 years young today!

John is a fellow RSD patient who also had the Ketamine Coma here in Monterrey.

Up until 9 years ago, John was a very active man. He volunteered as a fireman and worked at a very physically demanding job at a utility company. That is, he had an injury that changed everything and he developed RSD.

Before RSD John also loved singing. He persued his wife, Rosemary, by singing outside her bedroom window until she agreed to go out with him. He promised her that if she would marry him, he would sing to her everyday for the rest of their lives.

When I met John at the hospital here last April, even laughing was not possible for him. Any type of activity at all that required the use of the muscles in his neck caused him severe pain flare ups in his neck, shoulder, arm and hand.

Needless to say, singing was out of the question...

Rosemary has referred to the day of John’s injury as “The day the music died” in their household.

The suffering that this disease causes, and the things that you lose because of it, never cease to amaze me. But how special people can come into your life through this pain, continually amazes me as well. John and Rosemary have become part of our extensive extended family we have accumulated here in Mexico and we’re blessed to know them.

On Wednesday morning before my surgery, I got a special call via skype. It was John. He said that he had a surprise for me—he was going to sing to me!

I had the honor of being the first ‘concert’ that he has performed in years!

He sang “You’ve Got A Friend”by Carole King.

.”…You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend…”

John serenading me via skype

Wow. I am not a very emotional person. However, I was crying. He has a beautiful voice. But I think I was crying even more over the fact that this gift, which is definitely a God-given talent, has been restored to him once again.

Singing is filling John and Rosemary’s home again. I am so thankful to see how far he too has come in his recovery after his treatment here.

John, if I had ANY singing talent whatsoever, you know I would be calling you this morning to sing to you, but, I think it is safer for both of us that I do this with words instead. :)

Happy Birthday!

Thank you for being my friend.

Love. Jessica

Out of the hospital!!

2011-06-12T11:28:00.003-04:00

Hi!

I am writing this update from my bedroom back in the apartment here at my Mexico home away from home!

I know. I still can’t believe it either…After only spending 8 days in the hospital! With my first stay at Hospital San Jose being 10 months and my second stay lasting nearly 3… this is definitely a personal best! The past few days seem like a big blur to me. I am physically and emotionally exhausted but I am so happy to once again be out of the hospital!

I had my surgery Wednesday evening. I was wheeled downstairs to the operating room at 4:30 pm and got to see the doctors, residents, nurses and technicians before going into the OR. Everything with my surgery went very well.

Thursday morning Dr. Balli came up to my room and entertained me with the ‘story’ of my surgery in colorful, vivid and lively description—as only he can.

I got to hear every detail of how he cut through the layers of my skin, muscles and nerves, carefully moving each out of the way as he went down deeper, following the ‘tract’ that this granuloma had formed, while trying to both find and remove the source of it as well. He ended up having to go deeper than he had wanted or anticipated, down to my small intestine, but we are very thankful that he did not have to actually cut out any of my intestine to fully remove this thing- which would have turned this into a completely different surgery and recovery altogether.

What is even cooler is that none of these ‘images’ were left for me to picture with my own imagination because Dr. Cantu took several pictures during the surgery with his Iphone! I wish I could post them on here for everyone to see, but however cool these photos are to me, I’m not so sure everyone else would think so. I have never had pictures of any of my procedures before and I’m really thankful that Dr. Cantu did this for me. Well, actually, I’m really thankful for everything that he has done, continues to do and will do for me. But I could write a novel about all of that and this is already getting long… so anway…

Thursday afternoon I had another Ketamine booster to help control my pain. I than started running a low grade fever. We believe it was either due to the iron infusion I had earlier in the day, or from the blood and plasma transfusion I had before surgery (yes… I am now even more Mexican!).

Yesterday morning the fever was gone and I was feeling better, so It was decided at that point that I needed to get out of the hospital before any infections could develop. I will continue on IV antibiotics and medications here at home as I rest and recuperate.

It’s still unbelievable that all of this happened only 3 days ago. More unbelievable still is how well I am doing post this surgery. In the past, after any type of procedure, I have woken up down in the recovery room screaming and in explosive RSD pain burning through my entire body... the type of pain that is un-extinguishable even with the strongest medications.

This time was different. Yes, obviously, I am in pain, as I was cut open. But the difference is that this pain is is localized in the general area of my surgery and not igniting a lightening storm of RSD pain in the rest of my body. A ‘normal’ person would probably consider the pain I am feeling post surgery to be a high level, but when you have been through the horrible pain of RSD, this pain seems minimal and manageable.

Having an RSD flare up was my biggest fear about the surgery and this is huge relief and answer to prayer! It is proof to me of just how much healing has taken place in my nervous system and body as a whole because of the treatment that I have had here.

I definitely think that the five days of Ketamine infusion I received prior to surgery, along with using it during the surgery, along with the heavy amount of local and general anesthetics and surgical technique that were used… all played an important role in the outcome. Dr. Cantu and his team are learning more and more about how to handle an RSD surgery case and I am grateful for the doctors here who are willing to listen and to learn from their patients.

I know that God placed me in the best hands possible having this done here. We praise God for the healing that has taken place in my body. For the skill and wisdom of my doctors. For the amazing people he has placed into our lives to cater to our needs and help us through this. For being who He is—a God who continually does more than we can ever ask or even imagine.

I ask for continued prayers for my Dad, who will hopefully be leaving his hospital in NY sometime today. For continued healing in my GI system, that the removal of this granuloma will now allow my system to heal and work normally again. For strength and patience as I recuperate from my hospital stay.

Please also continue to keep all who are suffering with illness and pain in your thoughts and prayers too.

I will update again in a few days. Thank you all for the continued support and prayers.

Love, Jessica

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Thanks For All Your Prayers

2011-06-09T05:41:00.004-04:00

Just wanted to quickly update and let everyone know that Jessica had her surgery last night.

She was given a blood transfusion in the morning to correct her low blood counts and just prior to surgery was given 3 units of plasma so that she would not lose a lot of blood.

Before going down to the operating room we had a special visit from Pastor Long who prayed over Jessica. Dr. Balli happened to be in the room talking to Jess pre-surgery when Pastor Long arrived, so she asked him to pray over his hands- that God would guide and direct them during the surgery. This was very special to her, and Pastor Long told us that it is rare to have this opportunity to pray over a surgeon's hands. And later that afternoon, Jessica asked to see Dr. Cantu before her surgery - so that she could pray over his hands too!!! We know that God has been with Jessica every step of this journey and that he was with her and the doctors in the OR tonight..

Dr. Balli, says from a surgical standpoint, the surgery went well and the granuloma in her stomach was successfully removed. Dr. Cantu administered massive amounts of both general and local anesthesia to sedate her and numb the area to block and control the surgical pain.

She is back up in room 845 and is resting. She will continue to be on a Ketamine drip and will be receiving boosters for the next few days.

I will update again soon on Jessica and her RSD- status post surgery. Please continue to pray that she does not have flare up from this and that she does not develop any infections while in the hospital.

My husband, David, also had his hernia surgery yesterday afternoon. My daughters Katherine and Michelle and Katherine's boyfriend, Paul, are with him and he will hopefully be discharged sometime tomorrow.

Thank you all for your support, love and continued prayers. They are heard, felt and answered in ways we never could have imagined. I would like to thank my "Mexican Family" who came to sit with me in the waiting room during Jess's surgery. Dr. Rainbow-Jessica's Mexican "Abuelita", Barbara, Cindel, Lalio, Marus and Paulina... God has truly blessed us with so many wonderful people in our lives, we are forever grateful.

In God's Love,
Sarah Gina

"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe."- Psalm 61 1-3

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Surgery Is Today!

2011-06-08T03:40:00.010-04:00

Dear Family & Friends,

Jessica will be having her surgery today for removal of a granuloma at 4 pm. It will also be necessary for her to receive a blood transfusion before surgery due to low red blood counts, as well as plasma.

We ask for special prayers for her today. It is anticipated that the surgery will take at least 2 hours or maybe more depending on what they find and how deep they have to go.

Please pray also for Dr. Cantu, Dr. Balli, and Dr. Luigi and all that will be present in the operating room.

I will let everyone know how things go as soon as I can!

In God's love & trust,
Sarah Gina

P.S. Please pray also for Jessica's Dad who will be having his hernia surgery today as well at 1PM in N.Y.!

"God is our refuge and strength; an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear." Psalm 46:1
"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds", declares the Lord." Jeremiah 30:17

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Where Everybody Knows Your Name...

2011-06-07T10:14:00.008-04:00

Hello everyone. I am now on day 5 of this hospital stay and the fact that I am back here in Hospital San Jose is finally starting to really sink in now. As you can imagine, it is no fun at all to be back here. I keep saying it is like sending a Vietnam war veteran that back to Vietnam—its not somewhere you would ever want to go back to! But I guess in life, we just don’t know the plans that God has for us and why things happen the way that they do.

I do have to say that coming into the hospital this time has been a very different experience for me.

This time, rather than being rushed in by ambulance through the emergency room, on a stretcher and severely ill, I rode to the hospital in a wheelchair-accessible van and was admitted under the usual process via the international patient coordinators office. From there we passed through security and the waiting area. I was given a hospital bracelet. “Jessica Stevens. Room 845” it read. Same name. Same room.

I saw the gift shop where so many brought balloons and things for me, the chapel where I know so many prayers were lifted up for me, the coffee shop where my Mom got her daily supply of energy to take care of me.

As weird as it this sounds, this was the first time I actually got to see any of the first floor of Hospital San Jose. Before this I had only seen the ER, the ICU, the operating room, the hallway on the 8^th floor and the inside of my room.

Let’s just say that a sure way of knowing that you have spent too much time in a hospital is when, upon arriving and giving your name, the security guard- who you have never met before—recognizes not only the name, but recalls what room number you were in!

The only thing that would have enhanced this experience would have been if the Cheers theme song, “Where Everybody Knows Your Name”, somehow, had begun playing in the background as I was wheeled upstairs.

I thought that coming back here, into this room, would give me major deja-vu and flashbacks to the year that I spent in here fighting for my life, but oddly, that has not happened.

It is so different..

The room is no longer filled with all of the signs and “get well” cards, pictures and bible verses on the walls. It feels empty. The ceiling tile directly above my bed has been changed and no longer has the same little crack in it that I spent so many nights staring up at, the couch that my mom spent each night asleep on has been changed from a green one to a new blue one.

Some things have not changed.

The smells and sounds are the same. The toxic aroma of the big bottle of “Ex-germ” hand sanitizer that burns your eyes and nose, the sickly sweet lemon scent of a freshly cleaned hospital floor. The infusion pumps whirring and beeping, nurses speaking in spanish over the noisy intercoms and the squeaking sounds their shoes make as they walk up and down the halls, clicking doors open and shut as they check on their patients, the sound of others suffering as they call for assistance…These things all remain eerily the same.

I have changed though. Every nurse and doctor who has come in to see me has told me that I look “super bien”- which here in Mexico means “very, very good!” They can’t believe the improvement I have made and how much better I am doing! The chief nurse told my mom and I that I was one of the most ill patients and one of only two that have stayed in this hospital for over a year. Most patients who come in here are treated and than ‘lost to follow up’- the nurses do not see them again and do not get to see their progress. They keep saying how my recovery is a miracle. Everyone can see how this treatment truly works and for me, has been life-saving. It is rewarding for them, and I definitely never get tired of hearing it!

However, even though this time I am not acutely ill, I am still acutely aware of all that can and has gone wrong with me while being in a hospital.

Mom and I are being extremely cautious- making sure that the nurses are washing their hands, wearing masks and using alcohol swabs each time before connecting a medication to my medi-port. I am having some pain in my stomach, but I am grateful to be here in the capable and caring hands of the amazing Dr. Cantu (who wore a Green Shirt yesterday…) whose knowledge of this illness is surpassed by none, who knows my body and knows how to manage this pain so that it does not explode into a full blown RSD flare up.

My surgery will hopefully be sometme later this week. I have been switched from my regular blood-thinner that I have been on for the large blood clot in my arm, Coumadin, onto IV Heparin. I am being given Vitamin K to try and get my blood-clotting factors into a safe range for surgery. A “safe” INR level to have surgery is between a 1.0-1.5. Mine is still higher than that. Please pray that this level regulates soon so that we can proceed with the surgery and I can get out of here.

Even though a lot of things about this hospital experience may be different this time, the people who are here-- both with me physically and for me emotionally-- have not changed. Room 845 is a healing room and this is a healing place. God is still in this room with me. He never left. He is here and is still in control.

Please pray for strength for my Mom. Her love for me is unbelievable. Her happiness depends on my health and my being back in the hospital is harder on her in some ways than it is for me.Please also keep my Dad in your prayers, as he is going back into the hospital for hernia surgery again tomorrow.

Please pray for Dr. Cantu and all of the doctors and nurses here, that they have the wisdom to do what needs to be done to get me well.

I especially ask for prayers that I have no infections to prolong my hospital stay. Any type of infection is devastating for my body and seems to re-trigger a lot of my symptoms. We cannot afford to have any of those problems again… We have come way too far. .Bring on the Ex-germ!

Thanks again for the love and prayers.

In God’s love, Jessica

“The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

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Update on Jessica

2011-06-06T08:17:00.003-04:00

Hello to All,

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update on Jessica.

We arrived back to Hospital San Jose this past Friday-June 3rd.

After going thru admittance, she was brought up to the 8th floor and back in room 845 - the same room she was in the last time. I must admit that it was a little surreal to be back here once again and in the same room.

She was taken off of coumadin and put on IV heparin. We will wait until her blood levels are at the correct number in order for her to have the surgery for removal of the granuloma. She is also on IV antibiotics and IV ketamine.

For now we are in a holding pattern until the proper time for surgery.

We place all our trust first in God, then Dr. Cantu, and all the doctors and nurses here at Hospital San Jose.

Please keep Jessica in your prayers. I will keep everyone updated as to when the surgery will be.

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina

P>S>
Paulina, the 12 year old daughter of a dear family we have met while here in Monterrey visited us last night. As she was leaving she said to Jessica:
"DO YOUR BEST AND GIVE GOD THE REST!!!".
What wonderful words from such a young girl!

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Special Prayers Needed....

2011-06-02T11:22:00.003-04:00

Hello family and friends,

I feel guilty for not frequently updating this blog over these past few months. Jessica has been doing so well. Her healing is truly a miracle and I thank God everyday that I have my daughter back.

She has been having GI problems and pain in her abdomen, underneath where her feeding tube that was in for 3 years had been. This past week the pain escalated and there was something protruding out from where the tube had been.

Dr. Cantu brought her in for testing yesterday and it was determined that a granuloma has formed in that area. It has infiltrated the surrounding tissue and muscle and needs to be removed. Jessica’s surgeon, Dr. Balli, has told us that it is very rare for this to occur many months after the tube was removed, however, we all know that with Jessica- things never go ‘normally’ or as the medical textbooks say that they should.

Any type of surgery is very risky for an RSD patient and it is really not something you ever want to do on an area that has been affected by the disease, as this can cause a re-triggering of pain and cascade of other symptoms. We know this fact. However, we also know that our God is greater than any ‘fact’ or medical statistic.

Jessica has been feeling and doing the best she has these past few months and we will continue to claim her healing and victory over this illness!! The huge blessing in all of this is that it happened while we are still here in Mexico, where we have Dr. Cantu who can use Ketamine during and after the surgery to treat the RSD.

Please pray for wisdom for Dr. Cantu, Dr. Balli, Dr. Luigi and all who will be involved with Jessica’s care during this surgery, for peace and strength for Jessica and I as we prepare to go back to Hospital San Jose tomorrow, and for no complications or infections to prolong our time spent in the hospital—which will hopefully only be 1 week.

Jessica is going into this with the most positive attitude. She says that as long as she has her “dream team”—God, Me and Dr. Cantu—along with ALL of your prayers—she can overcome anything.

We hope that all of you are well.

In God's Love,

Sarah Gina

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The RSD/Lyme Connection...

2011-05-20T09:40:00.010-04:00

Something that I am asked a lot about is the connection between my two illnesses- Lyme disease and Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD).

Did one cause the other? Which came first? Are the two even related at all…or were you just unlucky enough to develop both?

Because May is Lyme disease awareness month I thought it was a good time to try and begin to explain a little bit more about these two very complex medical issues and how they relate to one another.

As anyone who has been a patient with any type of long-term illness knows, you tend to become an ‘expert’ of sorts in your condition. There are just certain things that cannot be learned through a textbook… but are instead, earned, the hard way, through experience.

These past years of being in and out of doctors offices and hospitals has given me the privilege of meeting and sharing stories with a lot of others who are facing some of the same health challenges as I am.

It seems that the big difference between my case and theirs is that my RSD did not begin after an injury. Both times it began with an infection.

Through having this blog, several others have reached out to us, sharing that they too have been suffering from RSD after an infection—especially Mono and interestingly, many have also tested positive for Lyme at some point in their lives.

By most doctors, RSD is considered a “trauma disease”— It is usually a physical injury such as a sprain, fracture, or surgical procedure that causes it. Usually after an injury the nervous system shuts down within minutes to hours, but for some reason, in RSD patients, the nervous system malfunctions and continues to send constant pain signals to the brain... Kind of like a car engine that continues running even though the ignition is off.

It's unknown why some people develop this condition after seemingly minor injuries or otherwise benign infections.

However, it is well known that both viral and bacterial infections (like shingles, Epstein-Barr, CMV, herpes simplex, HIV, leprosy, syphilis, lyme, etc) can trigger a strong pro-inflammatory immune response causing a wide range of neurological problems.

These infectious illnesses can also cause widespread indirect nerve damage by provoking an autoimmune disorder, in which the immune system attacks the body's own myelin sheath (the insulating covering that protects the nerves)—think of it as trying run electricity through an extension cord that is missing the protective covering. The result is diffuse, searing neuropathic pain. I was treated with high doses of IVIG for nearly 1 year to try to reverse this process known as demeylination.

In this case, it is the immune system that never ‘shuts off’ and the infection which provides the fuel for this process to develop and persist.

The immune cells continue interacting with the peripheral nervous system, releasing pain producing chemicals and you begin to develop heightened activation of the pain pathways.

Because every peripheral nerve has a special function in our bodies, many symptoms can occur when these nerves malfunction. Some may experience numbness, tingling, and pricking sensations, sensitivity to touch, or muscle weakness. Others have more extreme symptoms, like burning pain, muscle atrophy, fainting spells, paralysis, ulcerative skin lesions, or internal organ dysfunction. In the most severe cases, you may become unable to digest food, maintain stable levels of blood pressure, or even regulate your body temperature. The end result is total dysfunction of all of these components, resulting in hyper-arousal of the nervous system, making any type of normal stimulus (like touch, light, sound, vibrations, etc) painful and intolerable.

It is difficult to say exactly which of these symptoms can be directly and solely ascribed to either Lyme or RSD... and which are more complex in origin.

There have been several papers recently discussing the possible role of previous infections (particularly Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) in the development of autoimmune disorders.

Is it possible that this has some significance in the development of an autoimmune component leading to RSD?

Are certain people more genetically predisposed to develop symptoms of RSD post- infection than others?

And, could this account for the degree of severity of the condition in a sub-group of RSD patients, like myself?

It seems reasonable to believe that the connection between these illnesses is not as rare of an occurrence as most might think.

People are like jigsaw puzzles. Take a piece out and you no longer have the whole picture…

It goes without saying that this is not a medical opinion :) but just my 2 cents worth. This is a topic I think about a lot as I continue to recover and gain back what these illnesses have taken away from me. I know I have a God who is bigger than any illness and that He has blessed me with doctors who are curious and open-minded enough to make the connection between these illnesses in my case.

…There is definitely more to come on this…

*******************

The Lyme documentary “Under Our Skin” will be airing on PBS WLIW channel 21 in New York this Saturday, May 21^st @ 3pm! Set your DVR's!

*******************

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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

2011-05-08T00:00:00.004-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to our Super Mom!
We are very blessed to have the privilege to call you Mom and to have the honor of being called your daughters.
You mean the world to us! We love you!
~J,K&M

***************************
Notes to our amazing Mom:

Mom,

Growing up girls dream of becoming mothers to little girls, you got lucky with three of them! I too dream of being a mother to a little girl (or girls!) and only hope that I can be half of the mother to them as you are to me, Jessica and Michelle. You have set a very high bar for us and I hope that we can carry on your loving, forgiving, excitable, fun and nurturing legacy. You went from being my mommy, to my mom to my best friend. I will always, always, always love you!

Love, Katherine!

***************************

Mommy is not just a word.
Mommy is the one who helps you when you're sick.
She is the one person who knows you so well.
Mommy is always there to comfort you.
Anyone can become a mother.
It takes a special person to become a Mommy.
I love you Mommy, Happy Mother's Day!

Love, Michelle

***************************

Mom,

They say a mother is only as happy as her least happy child...and we all know who 'that child' has been in our family these past few years. I know everyone is always commenting on how much better I am doing, but I am loving every minute of seeing YOU feel free to be happy again and regain your life back too!

Your love comes out, in all the things that you do, in hundreds of ways every day. I hope you know none of it goes unnoticed. Nobody loves me like you. The truth is that you deserve to hear much more than I can say. I love you!

Love, Jessica

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May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month!

2011-05-02T09:50:00.009-04:00

May is Lyme Disease Awareness month, so we are turning the blog "Lyme" green as a reminder to all to take extra precaution. Do a tick check!

I remember when I was first diagnosed with Lyme disease and Babesiosis (another tick-borne disease, as Lyme rarely travels alone) nearly 5 years ago.

I remember my family and I actually feeling relieved... happy even. The months of persistent fevers, severe headaches and swollen glands, the enlarged spleen and liver, abnormal blood counts, flu-like feelings and inflamed joints, numbness and weakness, bouts of nausea and vomiting, the shooting pains, sweats and chills...finally all had a name.

We would find the best doctor for my condition...and then we would treat it....and then I would get well....and we would all go on with our lives. There was an end in sight and we were ready for this to be over.

That's the way it's supposed to happen, right?

...Or so we thought.

At that time of diagnosis I never could have imagined the medical nightmare I was about to be thrown into, a world where doctors risk their careers to treat their patients while under harassment from insurance and medical boards and where everything about the disease-- from the diagnosis, to the treatment to the prognosis is so controversial.

I certainly never could have imagined how the bite of a tiny 'insect' would forever change, and nearly take my life from me.

The thing about Lyme is that if it is diagnosed when you are first infected the disease can be (and usually is) effectively treated with a course of antibiotics. But when the tick bite is missed or a person goes months or even years undiagnosed, the disease enters its later stages where it can invade virtually any part of the body- including the heart, nerves, muscles, joints, skin and digestive system- In my case, I lost the ability to eat, walk, stand or even sit up. This disease has the potential to cause any combination of complex and disabling symptoms.

During this later stage, the infection can also become deeply entrenched in the brain and central nervous system causing severe neurological illness and symptoms ranging from headaches, dizziness, memory/concentration problems, fatigue and sleep disturbances to tremors, fainting, seizures, numbness and tingling, sensitivity to lights, sounds and other sensory and neuropathic pain syndromes (such as RSD), to stroke and paralysis or even death.

As the disease progresses it becomes incredibly difficult to treat, and even with treatment, a lot of the time there has been so much damage done to so many systems of the body that it is very hard to reverse.

For most patients with tick-borne illnesses, the diagnosis is not the "end in sight" that you hope for. It is just the beginning of a long road to recovery.

That is why it's so incredibly important that everyone has greater access to information about Lyme and tick-borne diseases and are made aware of the devastating consequences of it, especially because early detection and treatment are so essential.

I'm really excited that in honor of Lyme Disease awareness month PBS will be showing the Lyme disease documentary, Under Our Skin!This is the first time that the movie will be on national television!

You can use the link below to search for when it will be airing in your area.

PBS Station Finder

If your local PBS station has not yet scheduled a viewing, call or email them to ask them to!

It is my hope and prayer that increased research and awareness efforts will help to educate others and arm them with the knowledge necessary to prevent others from having to go through what I had to. Recovery is possible, but Lyme disease is preventable!

God bless all who are still struggling daily with Lyme disease and the doctors who risk all to treat their patients. I have the deepest respect and utmost gratitude to all of the Lyme physicians who helped me along my journey, especially to Dr. L.

For more information please read:

Lyme Disease Basics by LDASEPA

In Spanish-

Enfermedad de Lyme y otras infecciones ascociadas

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BLESSED EASTER SUNDAY TO ALL!!!

2011-04-24T03:19:00.005-04:00

To All our Family & Friends,

I pray that your heart is profoundly touched by remembering that nearly 2,000 years ago Jesus went to the Cross, died, and was buried in a borrowed tomb. For several days, Jesus' body remained lifeless as His followers melted with fear and found their faith in the icy grip of confusion and despair.

Thank God that Jesus' crucifixion story does not end with the Lord's body enslaved to death and decay in that borrowed tomb! No, Easter Sunday was coming even though none of Jesus' followers seemed to expect the events of that incredible Resurrection Sunday Morning. They were completely surprised, held breathless by the incredible experiences of meeting the Lord alive again - walking, talking, and eating with the One they loved so deeply and that they thought was gone. Some were startled. Some fell and grasped his feet. Others disbelieved for joy. Another placed his hands in the imprints left by the nails and spear. And little by little, follower after follower, Jesus showed himself alive and offered many different proofs of his resurrection and they believed. They then testified to their faith, sometimes at the cost of their own lives, so they could share this good news with others.

So my prayer is that you have a Blessed Easter Sunday, this first Sunday after Passover. And on this glorious day, I pray that the Holy Spirit, the gift of the risen Jesus, will re-ignite your passion, hope, and courage to live for our Lord no matter what challenges you face!

We pray God's richest blessings for you and yours, and we pray that our living and reigning Lord will make His presence powerfully real to you as you serve Him in the days ahead.

Blessed Easter To All,
In God's Love & Grace always,
Sarah Gina*
(Mom to 3)

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Blessed Palm Sunday, Happy Birthday Katherine & Update

2011-04-17T10:48:00.002-04:00

Hello To All our Family & Friends,

First we would like to wish everyone a blessed Palm Sunday. For Christians we celebrate the triumphal entry of Jesus Christ into Jerusalem as we enter the week of his death and resurrection. Palm Sunday or "Passion Sunday" marks the beginning of Holy week culminating on Easter Sunday.

The bible tells us that when Jesus entered Jerusalem, he was greeted with palm branches that they waved in front of him and also covered his path. Immediately following this celebration, Jesus begins his journey to the cross.

Here in Mexico, Palm Sunday is called Domingo de Ramos. As Mexico is predominantly Catholic, many processions and celebrations are held during Holy week or Semana Santa up until Easter Sunday or Pascua.

Today I would also like to wish my daughter Katherine a very Happy 20th Birthday! I can't believe that I now have two daughters that are in their 20's! I am getting old. Dearest Katherine, may you have a special day today and may you always know how very much you are loved! When you were born you weighed in at 9 lbs.1 oz.! I remember that for the first months of your life you seemed to be always crying --- you were very colicky --- But -- then, at the age of 9 months you woke up one morning - with the most tremendous smile :) -- and the crying stopped. From that day forward the one most notable feature about you (besides your beauty) that everyone comments on is your "infectious smile". When you smile you light up the room and everyone else smiles along with you!

So Katherine, my wish for you today, on your birthday, is to keep smiling that beautiful smile and to always know that you are so very loved!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHERINE!

UPDATE:
Jessica is doing well. Although she has her daily challenges, mainly dealing with movement problems in her right foot and GI dysfunction, we ask for prayers that these issues resolve so that she can maintain her weight and nutritional status without further testing or intervention. She continues to face each day with grace beyond our own understanding and with strength that only comes from the One and only Jesus! When I think back at last year during this time, and being in the hospital all those months, you sometimes do have to remember where you have been to realize how very far you have indeed come! During this Easter season we reflect on how truly blessed we are and how thankful we are for the sacrifice that was made for us!

Thank you also for your prayers for David. He had successful surgery to repair 3 hernias and was hospitalized for 2 weeks. He is now home recuperating with the help of my daughter Michelle, who has shown us how very mature a 14 year old can be! Thank you also to his nurse Jackie and to all those who helped with meals, rides, etc. during this time. He couldn't have done it without you all!

With Palm Sunday blessings to all,
Sarah Gina
(Mom to 3)

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80,000 Views of the Blog!!! --About the "Journey" & UPDATE

2011-03-18T08:52:00.001-04:00

Hello To All,

As we begin this Lenten season, I received an e-mail from one of my wonderful Monterrey friends Barbara. She is truly a special person and she attends the local church called Union Church, here in Monterrey. She sent along this devotional to Jessica and I that was written by Pastor Dave Long, a true man of God. It speaks of the "journey" that we are sometimes asked to take in our walk with the Christian faith. Barbara thought of Jessica and the journey she has had to take with her illness.

Here is the devotional:

Answering the Call to Journey

Genesis 12:1-9

God called Abraham to leave his country and go to the land that God would show him. It was the beginning of the journey to the Promised Land and it would take his family and future generations on a circuitous route until they arrived.

There was a promise that kept him going: I will make you…, I will bless you…, I will make your name…, I will bless those who bless…, I will curse those who curse…, all peoples will be blessed through you. He was traveling with a promise.

Cynthia Clawson is one of my favorite singers. She wrote, My journey has taken me through smiles and miles, fears and tears, doubt and faith, hope and light. It has been a struggle at times, but struggles sometimes help us grow stronger. My trip through this life has been a time to love and learn. It has been during quiet walks with the Master that I have grown most.

These are the lyrics to a song that she and her husband wrote and she sings: The Journey

I’m making a journey, Lord,

The greatest journey of all;

My steps may fail, Lord,

So please don’t let me fall.

The way is narrow, Lord,

And sometimes I feel alone;

And when my heart fears, Lord,

I softly pray this song:

Give me the heart to be pure,

Give me the faith to be sure,

Give me the strength to endure

All of my tribulations.

I need some courage, Lord,

To make it just one more mile;

I want to hold your hand,

I want to see your smile.

Give me the heart to be pure,

Give me the faith to be sure,

Give me the strength to endure

All of my tribulations.

No matter where our journey may take us – to another country or our hometown, through lush green lands or dry deserts, to fame and fortune or unknown and poverty – God has promised to be with us. So may our prayer be to keep a pure heart, to have an abiding faith, to have strength to endure all of our tribulations.

Journey well…God is beside you!

Union Church of Monterrey

*********************************

Update on Jessica:

We hope that this message lifts you up during this season of Lent. We thank you all for taking this "Journey" with us and for all the prayers that have been offered on Jessica's and our family's behalf. Jessica has been having a few ups and downs, as you know, and with that a flare of her RSD in the right foot, right arm and stomach. We are forever grateful to Dr. Cantu for all he continues to do for Jessica and his perseverance, commitment and wisdom with this illness. We know that God is in control and we praise him always for all of his miracles and healing for Jessica.

On another note, we ask for your prayers for Jessica's Dad who will be undergoing surgery next week for hernia repair. We ask that all goes well with the surgery and his recovery and we ask God to guide the hands of his surgeon Dr. Greenstein.

Jessica and I are so thrilled to have Katherine here with us this week! We have not seen her since last June-except via Skype-and she was so thrilled to see how improved Jessica is since then! When she arrived to the apartment, Jessica was in her recliner chair to welcome her! They kissed and hugged (something that couldn't be done last year!) They have been enjoying their time together-reconnecting-and we all keep saying to one another how we can't believe that we can enjoy the hugging again, feeling the fresh air together again, seeing the beautiful blue sky, laughing again, listening to music, watching a movie, to see Jessica in so much less pain, etc.......I could go on and on! For me, as their Mom, it takes my breath away, and I have shed a few happy tears this week to see them together like that again! We praise God for all his mighty works, Dr. Cantu for all his love, and I praise my daughter Jessica-she is a fighter and her determination is amazing and inspiring!

May this day find you all well,

In God's love,always,

Sarah Gina

(Mom to 3)

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Update

2011-02-17T09:43:00.006-05:00

Hi everyone!

I am sorry for not doing a better job of keeping this blog updated. The past couple of weeks have been a little rough for me and I sometimes just don’t know what to say.

To start with, my 23^rd birthday was wonderful!!! It was definitely the Happiest Birthday that I have had and the best part was being able to eat my own birthday cake for the first time in 4 years! My mom made me a Mexican chocolate chip cake with pink and green frosting and it was so delicious! To think that last year at this time I was very sick in the hospital and still being fed through a feeding tube...Praise God!

I have certainly come a long way, even if there is still a long way to go.

Along with the great progress, there are still challenges and times when fear and uncertainty seem to take hold. The past few weeks have been one of these times as I have been having some problems that I had not been experiencing since leaving the hospital. I will be going for some tests to further check things out.

I know that all RSD patients deal with setbacks and it is never easy. It is very difficult for me to even write about anything remotely negative on here because I have come so far and I feel so blessed to be getting better.

I don’t want this blog to ever be about the uncertainty, the fear or the pain…But rather, the hope, the joy and the strength we can all find in Jesus through the challenges. Nothing is impossible for Him! He redeems. He saves. He restores and He HEALS! I am living proof of that!

I have complete confidence that with God’s grace, Dr. Cantu’s wisdom and my Mom’s love, I cannot lose! As for me and my family, we will continue to speak of God’s great and mighty work in our lives, now and forever.

As always, thank you for the love, support and prayers for me and my family and a special thanks to the Lutheran Church of the Resurrection, who once again, held a successful art auction fundraiser to help me continue my recovery.

Please pray for healing and peace for all who are suffering, for strength and comfort for all of the devoted caregivers and for wisdom and understanding for the doctors who are trying so hard to help.

In God’s love, Jessica

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, I will not fear.”- Psalm 46:1

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Upcoming Fundraiser in Garden City, NY

2011-01-30T10:46:00.003-05:00

Hello To All,

UPCOMING FUNDRAISER FOR JESSICA'S JOURNEY:

Resurrection To Host Art And Memorabilia Auction

Lutheran Church of the Resurrection in Garden City, N.Y. will host an Art & Memorabilia Auction, Friday, Feb. 4, starting at 7 PM. The fund-raiser will assist with two important causes. Monies raised will go toward medical expenses for Jessica Stevens, a member of Resurrection who is battling severe complications from Reflex Sympathetic Dstrophy(RSD) & Lyme Disease. Funds will also support The Mission of Resurrection & The Life Church.

An Art Preview will begin at 7 p.m. when guests may view the art and memorabilia for auction, while enjoying an array of hors d’oeuvres and beverages from many local restaurants.

At 8 p.m., a professional auctioneer from Marlin Art will open bids on a vast selection of fine art and items from sports, music and entertainment. The event also includes a Door Prizes and a Silent Auction for gift baskets packed with exquisite prizes.

Rev. Jeff Browning, Pastor of Resurrection, said this is the second such fund-raiser Resurrection will host to benefit the Stevens family. “Jessica and the Stevens family are such special people. We are thrilled to be able to do whatever we can for them.”

The evening will conclude with coffee and desserts, featuring sweet delicacies made by many of the church’s finest bakers.

Resurrection & The Life Church is a Christian community of faith, with their main campus located at 420 Stewart Ave., near Clinton Rd., in Garden City. For more information, call 516.746.4426, or visit resgc.org or thelifeny.org.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank Pastor Browning and the entire congregational family at The Lutheran CHurch of the Resurrection for ALL of their continued efforts in fund-raising, their donations, and mostly ALL of their love, support, and prayers offered on behalf of Jessica and our family! We could not have taken this journey towards wellness without you ALL!!!

In God's Love,always,

Sarah Gina

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HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY JESSICA!!!

2011-01-15T00:01:00.010-05:00

Jessica & Dr. Green Shirt (aka Cantu)

Blessings To ALL,

Today is Jessica's 23rd Birthday and oh what a difference a year has made! Last year on this day, she was in the hospital going on 5 months, had a 104 fever and was fighting infections and many obstacles! This year, although we are still here in Monterrey, she is out of the hospital after being there for over a year, and her journey of hope seems that much brighter! Praise God!

" The appearance of a beautiful and magnificent Rainbow was God's promise of Hope to Noah and his family. It was a sign of peace, comfort and joy."
"The Rainbow is a sign of God's promise that He will guide us thru any storm, that He will ease all our troubles, no matter what their form!"

My Dearest Daughter Jessica,

This journey that you and I began together, has been one incredible journey -- many highs, many lows; many obstacles, many miracles. But, through it all, you have never given up Hope. It was and is that hope you had and continue to have in God, in your doctors, in prayers, in miracles, and in yourself, that has been the focus of your journey to having a life again. Jessica - never let go of hope. One day you will see that it All has come together and what you wished and prayed for has finally come to be! You will look back one day at what has passed and you will ask yourself "How did I ever get through All of that?"

Jessica, my hopes for your birthday are:

That you wake up in the morning with a big smile on your face...
That the sun is shining just for you... and the birds are singing their very best songs...
That your day is filled with lovely surprises, and that family & friends call or write you just to say "Hi"...
That everything goes your way...and everything is well with your world...

I hope that you enjoy all that you can do... and that you can laugh and talk to your heart's content...
That you have all that you wish for yourself and those dear to you, and that ALL your dreams come true...

And, at the end of this day, I wish you a perfect moon above the Monterrey mountains, shining just for you...
and a snug and cozy bed with the softest of pillows, so that you can sleep like a baby with a smile on your face...

I hope you have a perfect end to a perfect day... and I hope that every day is just as wonderful in its own way...

So, Jessica, think of Mommy's Hopes for you, and let them turn on the sunshine inside of You! That's my Birthday Hope for You!!!

I Love you Jessica and always will...
You have my heart forever...
Happy 23rd Birthday!!!

Love,
Mommy
xoxoxo

*****************************************************
MESSAGES FROM HOME:

Dear Jessica,

The fact that you are turning 23 is wonderful. The fact that you're turning 23 in Mexico is cool and the fact that you're turning 23 and feeling good is just amazing and a miracle!

You are definitely the strongest person in faith, resolve and courage that I know.

I hope you have a special day on your Special Day.

When I saw you recently, I saw for the first time in over four years the daughter I used to know. I saw my oldest daughter who is funny, witty and beautiful.

And, I know that you will eventually WALK out of Mexico.

So have a Happy Birthday.

May God, continue to bless you, keep you and strengthen you.

Love,

Daddy

********************************************************

Dear Jessica,

Today is your 23^rd birthday, YAY!!! When I think of birthdays the first thing that comes to my mind is the cake, the parties, the presents and most importantly the wish that the person makes when they blow out the candles. I know that your last couples of birthdays haven’t been fun for you; I think they were mostly reminders that you were still sick. This birthday, however, is so much different!! I’m sooo happy that you will finally have a birthday that you can really enjoy! You’re doing so amazingly great and I am beyond proud of you! I thank God everyday for these wonderful blessings that have happened to you this year.

Your last healthy birthday was when you turned 18 years old. The whole family went to a nice restaurant together and then afterwards you went downtown with your friends. We never knew that birthday would be your last happy one for a few years, but we also never knew that your 23^rd birthday would be one of the best that you have had in a long time!! You amaze me more and more everyday and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you’ll be even better by your 24^th!!

Most people’s role models are their parents or maybe some famous old person, but my role model is a young, beautiful, intelligent 23 year old...Can you guess who that is?..YOU! You have taught me so many life lessons that you didn’t even know you were teaching me and I am so grateful to have you as my older sister!

So, as I was saying before, people make wishes on their birthdays and when I think about it most wishes really don’t come true. But on rare occasions, when the time is right, and maybe if the wish is not just a wish but somewhat more of a hope or a prayer that wish may just come true. I know this. I know this because every wish that I’ve made for my last 5 birthdays were all the same thing: “Please bless Jessica to be healthy, please bless this to be the year.” My wish finally came true and I couldn’t be happier! I love you with all of my heart and I will never stop loving you no matter what.

Happy Birthday!
Love, your sister Katherine

*********************************************************

Dear Jessica,

HAPPY 23^rd BIRTHDAY! I cannot believe how far you have come in one year! Your 22^nd birthday was only last year. Last year was a year of troubles and recovery! To think that only one year ago, only 365 days, you were in the hospital, that we thought that would be the only room you would see, room 845.

Now, the new year has brought a whole new time filled with happiness and joy. Birthdays are entertaining and filled with laughs, birthday cake and balloons. And after someone’s birthday what do they think of? How fast it went. Some of the fun of a birthday is the anticipation, well this birthday couldn’t have come sooner.

For my whole life, I have called you my wessie. You have been like a second mom and role model to me. I used to always think, “This will be the year, this will be the day”. Finally that day, and that year has come. Ever since I started to talk you’ve been my wessie, because as you know, I couldn’t say Jessica or “Jessie” so I called you “Wessie”. This birthday will be the best one in five years and I am so proud of you! I hope this birthday is the best one! Happy 23^rd! Love you my wessie!

Love, your mini-wessie,
Michelle

*****

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY JESSICA - WE LOVE YOU & ADMIRE YOU!!!
P.S. MOLLY -your beloved dog- says "Woof-Woof" to You Too!!!

*****

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Tomorrow is Jessica's Birthday!

2011-01-14T08:55:00.005-05:00

Hello to All our Family, Friends, and Bloggers,

Tomorrow - January 15th - is Jessica's 23rd birthday!

I will be posting special letters to her in honor of her day!

When I think of what a difference a year has made........She truly is a very courageous young woman. I am honored to have her as my daughter!

Look for the special posting to the blog tomorrow and feel free to send her your well wishes also. We look forward to all of your comments!

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina
(Jessica's Mom)
xoxo

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!

2011-01-10T00:00:00.033-05:00

"To the world you may be one person...but to one person, you may be the world."

Dear Mommy,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Having you as my mother has definitely been the greatest gift and biggest advantage God could have ever given me. I don't think that there are many other mothers out there who could have endured what you have with me during this past year alone-- especially with such amazing grace, incredible strength and unshakable faith!

Unconditional and absolute love is the greatest gift a parent can give to their child and you have given yours to me in abundance! You have been the purest example of Christ's unconditional love for me and it has been this love and devotion that has enabled me to fight through these past years of illness. I am certain that without you by my side I never could or would have made it through!

I really don't know how I can ever tell you in words just how much I love you and appreciate everything that you have done and continue to do for me, every day. But, today, on your special day, I just wanted to say thank you...

Thank you for putting your own life on hold for the past 5 years to take care of me. No mother should ever have to see her child suffer in the ways that you have had to, I know how hard this has been for you too, yet, you continually put my needs before your own.

Thank you for researching and learning everything that you could about Lyme disease and RSD, for locating and bringing me to see the best doctors and for being my biggest advocate through it all.

Thank you for being there to hold my hand through so many painful tests and procedures, for comforting me afterward, for being so strong for me, always.

Thank you for not allowing me to give up, even when at times I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. For always having hope, even when I had none left.

Thank you for being there for me, when others didn't know what to do with me, or for me. For loving me through all of this, even when I felt unlovable.

Thank you for always making me laugh, for continuing to be your crazy, funny self, even through the hardest times.

Thank you for everything you have done for me, for everything you have said, and for all of the times you said nothing and just listened to me.

Thank you for being my hero, my inspiration, my biggest cheerleader, my best friend, my nurse and my doctor.

Thank you... for everything! There are sooo many more things... small things and big things...

Mom, I love you so much and I know I don't tell you nearly enough just how much I appreciate your love, support, friendship & patience... but... just so you know... I think that you are the perfect, most amazing mother and I thank God, every day, for giving me the honor of being your daughter. I don't know what I would do without you!

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me strength 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am because you loved me...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I LOVE YOU!

Love always,
Jessica

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Happy New Year & Happy Birthdays!!

2011-01-08T10:58:00.003-05:00

New Year Blessings to All,

Today is January 8th, 2011 and in 2 days it will be my birthday and then on the 15th it will be Jessica's 23rd birthday!

When I think about how last year began here in Mexico and how this year is unfolding, I am simply amazed at what a big difference a year can make!

Last year the one word that became a major focus for this journey that Jessica has been taking towards having a life again without constant pain and sickness was "HOPE". I remember one of my postings last year about the word "hope". I said then that, for me, hope is defined as the following:

H aving
O nly
P ositive
E xpectations

This past year, Jessica's journey has been about hope and about trying to remain positive, even when all around you is so negative. Quite honestly, it is sometimes a very hard thing to do!

Before arriving to Monterrey with Jessica, our "hope" was to give Jessica a fighting chance at a better life. We knew that the chances were great that we could lose Jessica in Mexico due to the severity of her case. I remembered being asked first by Dr. Kirkpatrick in Tampa and then by Dr. Cantu in Monterrey, if I, as her Mom, was prepared for that in the event that it happened? As you can imagine it is the type of question no mother wants to think about, let alone even answer!!! But, I remember vividly my answer. I said the same response to Dr. K in Tampa, as I then said later to Dr. Cantu in Monterrey. My response was: "I came here with the full knowledge that this could happen! My "hope" is that God will answer my prayers for Jessica, but, quite honestly, if that is not His plan, then, Yes, I am prepared for that, because she doesn't have a life anyway!!!

Even writing that now brings with it a lot of different emotions. But, I am saying this to you today, that, in life, we have to remain "hopeful"! We have to try to think positively, because by doing so, we all can ultimately have the "miracle"we "hope" for! It is all possible with God, his grace, his love, and in His timing!

So...Peace, Love, and most of all Hope, for the New Year!

With hope and in God's love,
Sarita ( my name in Spanish)

" May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you."
Psalm 33:22

"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."
Psalm 39:7

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A Wonderful Christmas!

2010-12-26T09:49:00.012-05:00

Michelle and me on Christmas Morning

Good Morning!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas celebration yesterday! For me and my family, it was definitely the best Christmas we have had in many years!

There are hundreds of reasons that Christmas has always been my favorite holiday.

When I think back on my childhood Christmases I remember Christmas Eve dinner at my Grandma’s house and eating the most delicious Italian food, I remember driving around- looking at the beautiful Christmas lights, I remember arriving home late and being allowed to open “just 1” Christmas present- which undoubtedly, was always matching Christmas PJ’s for my sisters and I! I remember leaving out homemade Christmas cookies for Santa, and some carrots for his reindeer- (and being sooo excited to find them eaten the next morning!), I remember lying awake in bed with pure excitement and anticipation for Santa to come, hoping he would bring me everything I had asked for. But most of all I remember the great lengths my parents went through to make sure my sisters and I always had the best Christmas possible, filled with lots of special memories.

I don’t think that many people can understand what the holidays are like for someone who is ill, especially a long-term illness that involves tremendous amounts of pain. During the past years of my illness, Christmastime was always very difficult for me and my family. From smelling the delicious food that I could not eat, to the lights and sounds I could not tolerate, to being in too much pain and feeling too ill to even open my gifts on Christmas morning with my family... It was very hard to find the “Christmas spirit” while dealing with the reality of the situation, but I think I can speak for my entire family when I say that this year, the Christmas spirit was alive and well in Mexico!

This year I really felt like I was a little kid again, experiencing the magic of Christmas for the very first time! From the food, to the lights, the decorations and the music… It has been been so amazing just getting the chance to enjoy Christmas day with my family once again! The best part, for me, was seeing the looks on my Dad and sister Michelle’s faces when they walked in and saw me sitting up in my recliner chair waiting for them! They were both shocked and amazed to see the progress I have made since I last saw them over the summer!

This Christmas I am incredibly thankful to be alive, to be re-gaining my health, to have an amazing family who loves me, and to know that I am never alone- in anything. I am thankful for the opportunity to see and experience the holiday for it’s true meaning, through a completely different perspective than ever before!

I am most especially thankful to Dr. Cantu! Without him my family and I would not be here enjoying this day together.

I am thankful for answered prayers… for everything!

We thank God and praise Him for carrying us to where we are today!!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Merry Christmas & Feliz Navidad to all!

In God’s Love,

Jessica (& the Stevens family)

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Remembering my brother Charlie........

2010-12-16T10:57:00.007-05:00

Hi to all~

Today is the 10th anniversary of the passing of my dear brother, Charlie Gelo @ age 40 after a long battle with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I miss him terribly but, the one thing I miss the most about him was his unique and funny sense of humor. Charlie was the type of person that lit up a room and he was the one you would want to have at your party because he always had a funny joke or story to tell.

So, in honor of him I'd like to present to you all his "funny" version of the 12 days of Christmas- the "Italian" `12 days of Christmas.

Sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas":

On the first day of Christmas, my Italian Grandma made for me...

a creamy ricotta cheesecake

2nd Day- 2 Meatballs
3rd Day- 3 Calamari
4th Day- 4 Broccoli rabe
5th Day- 5 Rice-a-balls
6th Day- 6 Baccala
7th Day- 7 Fig cookies
8th Day- 8 Artichokes
9th Day- 9 Honey Balls
10th Day- 10 Linguini with Clams
11th Day- 11 Shrimp Scampi
12th Day- 12 Zeppoles

Enjoy!

From a loving sister,
Sarah Gina

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A Special Christmas...

2010-12-12T12:58:00.007-05:00

Blessings to All from Monterrey,

Wow! I can't believe that Christmas is only 13 days away. It seems like only yesterday that we were celebrating a magnificent Thanksgiving celebration here in the apartment with Jessica's doctors! That was such a very special day - and probably one of the most amazing Thanksgivings Jessica and I have ever had! Just imagine Jessica being able to eat turkey and all of its trimmings for the first time in years - and then - just imagine being able to share that meal with the doctors who have been by your side these past 15 months - and better yet - Dr. Cantu (aka Dr. "Green Shirt") carving the very turkey you are about to eat!!! I think it is so hard to put into words the joy that I felt for Jessica and her doctors that day --- it's beyond words and a memory that will be forever etched in my mind and in all the doctors and their families who were here that night! Not only did God bless us with wonderful company - but I must say - the turkey was the Best turkey I have ever made --- and I have made many!!! We all had a good laugh, though, when Dr. Cantu informed us all that the turkey was so delicious due to his wonderful carving --- hahaha --- and not due to the 4 hours or so it took me to cook it!!! Oh well --- I think I will let him have the credit for the turkey this time --- he deserves it!!! Also, there was not a dry eye in the room as they watched a special "Thank You" video presentation that Jessica had made on her computer to honor them. It included special photos and songs of her journey so far. I know it goes without saying how very proud I am of my daughter - she makes me so very proud to be called her Mom!

And, now, Christmas is once again upon us, and oh, what a difference a year can make!!!

For all of you who follow this blog and faithfully pray for Jessica each and every day - thank you All and may God bless you and your families during this --- the most special time of the year - Christmas - the birth of our dear Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Last Christmas, as you may recall, was a very difficult time for Jessica. She had been experiencing many difficulties post the coma, including major infections and the neurological problems she was experiencing with her eyesight --- she couldn't see --- her visual field was plagued by green static vision. That, coupled with the intense, unbearable pain, fevers, lesions, tubes, etc.......to name a few ...... made it a very stressful time to say the least! But, I do remember the Christmas miracle last year as her sight was restored after Dr. Cantu put her back in the ICU. They say that God helps to erase those painful memories in time, and, I am grateful to say, I try not to think and remember them as much as I can. But, I do think that it is important in life to remember where you have been. You have to reflect on the road traveled so far, to realize how very far you have come and how, with faith and prayers and the love and grace of God, and, in Jessica's case, amazing doctors, ALL things are truly possible!

We, as a family, are so looking forward to this Christmas! As I write this blog, Jessica is listening to Christmas music --- something she hasn't been able to do for a number of years due to her extreme noise sensitivity! Last night, we were able to watch a movie on TV called "It's A Wonderful Life" - something she also hasn't been able to do for the past years due to her photo-phobia - or extreme light sensitivity! I am cooking up a storm! For those of you who know me, I love to cook. It is my hobby and one that I enjoy so much --- it is a great stress reliever for me. It is such a pleasure to be able to cook for Jessica once again, and for her to be able to enjoy eating again - another thing she can now enjoy once again since she no longer has her J-feeding tube in her intestines! This morning, we had such a good laugh, over something so silly --- but --- even that is a milestone for us! You see, she can now laugh again, because, she is in so much less pain than a year ago! ALL of these "little" things are really "Big" things for patients like Jessica, who have experienced pain and sickness on a level that, even as her Mom, I can never, ever, really fully understand!

In just under two weeks, Jessica's Dad and sister Michelle are coming for Christmas. Katherine will be spending Christmas with her Grandma and my family in Marco Island and instead will be coming to Monterrey in January to help Jessica and I celebrate our birthdays.

It goes without saying, but, I believe that this Christmas will be a very special one. For Jessica, she will be able to enjoy all the sights, sounds, and tastings of Christmas - something she hasn't been able to do for a number of years. For me, I can honestly say that I will be able to "breathe again" this Christmas and just be happy in seeing Jessica happy again!

Remember that these are the special times of Christmas. A time when we reflect on the true meaning of Christmas - as we celebrate His birth - and all of its magnificence and splendor. It is because of Jesus that we have life! As a Christian, I know, that thru Him All things are possible and All things are New once again.... I know this, Jessica knows this.......our hope is that You know this as well!

Merry Christmas --- Keep Christ in Christmas!!!

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Mom to 3)***

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Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

2010-11-25T09:09:00.003-05:00

"The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy."
~Psalm 126:3

Blessings To All,

We wanted to wish everyone a very special Thanksgiving Day!

Jessica and I will be spending the day with her doctors as I prepare for them a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. We have much to be thankful for this day and wanted to show them how appreciative we are to them for all they have done and continue to do for the both of us!

Till then, we hope and pray that you all have a great day today and we are ever mindful of all of God's blessings in our lives and especially for ALL of you!!!

Here is the prayer that I will be saying at dinner today:

We Give Thanks

Our Father In Heaven
We give thanks for the pleasure of gathering together for this most special Thanksgiving.

We give thanks for the food we are about to eat and for the loving hands that prepared it.

We give thanks for life and the freedom to enjoy it all.

We give thanks for so many blessings!

As we partake of this food,
We pray for health and strength to carry on, as we try to live our lives as You would have us.

We thank you for the mixture of our cultures, blending us all into one people under God.

We remember those who are less fortunate than we.

We pray you bless all those who gather here and all our families not present with us.

We are thankful right now to be surrounded by those whose lives touch us more than they'll ever possibly know!

So, please, Heavenly Father, bless this food you've provided and bless each and every one invited!

All this we ask in Jesus' name, AMEN!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!,
All our love and thanks, always,
Sarah Gina and Jessica
xoxoxo

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November is RSD/CRPS Awareness Month...

2010-11-14T14:00:00.008-05:00

Please watch the following video about RSD:

Hi everyone!

Wow! I can’t believe that there has been over 70,000 views of this blog! That is just… amazing. I know that many of you who follow this blog are not just following my journey with this disease, but are also, unfortunately, dealing with it on a personal level, whether through your own battle, or that of a family member. November is RSD/CRPS Awareness Month, so in honor of that, I wanted to just share a little about the disease.

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) is a painful & debilitating chronic neurological disorder that occurs when the nervous system malfunctions in response to a injury or illness, in my case, it was triggered by neurologic Lyme Disease. The hallmark symptom of RSD/CRPS is burning pain... so intense that the most potent pain relievers are completely ineffective, leaving you with the feeling that your body is actually on fire.

There currently is little knowledge and understanding of RSD/CRPS, even within the medical community. Because of this, RSD often goes misdiagnosed during its early stages, which is when the disease is most easily treated and can be put into remission. If not treated promptly, aggressively and correctly, the RSD pain can spread rapidly.

I have met so many people along my journey who are also struggling with this disease. I have seen many improve, only to relapse because of limited access to effective treatments. The suffering with this disease runs so deep- it not only physically effects the patient, but the entire family suffers the emotional consequences that come along with this type of unimaginable, unrelenting. 24/7, pain.

Right now, there are certainly a lot more questions than there are answers for many RSD patients. It is a complex, mysterious and very confusing disease.

I believe that Ketamine can definitely be a big part of the answer, for so many. And for now, it is probably the best weapon we have in our battle against this horrible disease, for me, it has been a God-send, however, we need a cure.

For me, it has given me the chance to have a life again. I am re-discovering my love of music, movies, people… and food! I ate spaghetti and meatballs for dinner for the first time in years (thanks Mom- it was great!) Each day my mom helps me out of my bed into a recliner chair (thanks Betty!) I can now stay in it for almost 3 hours! I know to many, these things may not seem like a big deal, but for me, after being completely bedridden for 5 years and fed through a feeding tube for nearly 3, every step in the right direction is just amazing! As Dr. Cantu so eloquently puts it, “Small Steps= Huge Advances!”

I am so blessed and so thankful to be doing so much better. It hurts to think about all of the people who are out there suffering so greatly with this monster of a disease.

We need more awareness of this devastating disorder. We need much more research to find the underlying cause(s) of RSD and identify ways to treat and prevent it. We desperately need a definitive and long-lasting cure.

My hope and my prayer is for answers, for all of us, who are dealing with this illness and for the doctors who are working so hard on our behalves to relieve our suffering and lead us back to better, less-painful lives.

In Christ,

Jessica

For more information on RSD:

International Foundation for RSD/CRPS

RSD Fact Sheet (from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders)

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association (RSDSA) Website

“Counting on a Coma”- FOX News

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A message from Jessica!

2010-10-27T16:00:00.022-04:00

The view from here- Cerro de la Silla mountain

"For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all Gods. In His hands are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to Him!" ~Psalm 95:3-4

Hello everyone!

It’s me, Jessica! I thought it was about time that I wrote a blog post of my own to update everyone on the (amazing) progress I have made! Actually, the truth is, I have tried many times to write something, but I just couldn’t. It has been such a complicated journey- filled with so many ups and downs and so many emotions It really is nearly impossible to put this experience into words...

All I can really say is that I have been truly blessed with the greatest parents, loving sisters, an incredible support system, amazing family and friends and the most caring and devoted doctors in the world, all of whom have gone above and beyond to help me get to where I am today.

It’s mind-boggling for me to sit here now, out of the hospital- looking at the beautiful view of the "Cerro de la Silla" mountain and to think back on what I have been through over the past year. It has been a rough journey, but my improvement has been nothing short of miraculous. Even my worst day now is far better than my best day was 1 year ago. The Ketamine Coma Study was my very last hope. I am forever grateful to my New York doctors- Drs. Liegner and Finkelstein, for working tirelessly on my behalf to get me here for this treatment and to Dr. Kirkpatrick, for the opportunity to take part in this study, which for me, has been life-saving!

I cannot say enough great things about the care I have received here in Mexico. I can honestly say that coming here has been the biggest blessing in my life thus far. My doctors, especially Dr. Cantu 'Green Shirt", Dr. "Luigi" Barrientos, Dr. "Febricula" Dillmann, Dr. Cinthia "Lyme", Dr. Ramos "Medusa" and Dr. "Rainbow" Zavala, have all gone above and beyond what any doctor could ever be expected to for a patient. It is because of their love, dedication and patience that I am still here. I shudder to think of where I would be right now if I had not been given the chance to come here for this study.

I have a chance to have a life again and I am just so excited! Everyday and everything is like brand new to me and I can’t wait to re-discover all of the things I have missed out on for so long!

The most important thing I have learned throughout my journey is that God can take any situation, no matter how hopeless or terrible it seems at the time, and redeem it for His glory! It is hard to appreciate this when you are being tested, severely, and things go horribly wrong- it’s hard to imagine that any good can come out of a bad situation. But God will never let you fall farther than He can catch you- His power works best when we are at our weakest. When we are literally drained, being hit from all angles and the situation is (or at least appears to be) completely hopeless. It is these times that set up the stage for miracles to happen!

I know this and I believe this. I have lived it.

I know that I still have a long road ahead of me. Everyday has its own struggles and some days are a lot easier than others, but no matter what challenges may still lay ahead, each day I will continue to take the “small steps” (as Dr. Cantu always reminds me) needed for my full recovery, as I allow my body and mind to heal. I know that with my incredible Mom by my side, I can make it through anything. After all, it has been her unwavering love and support that has enabled me to keep on going this far. I don't know what I would do without her! I am beyond blessed to be her daughter.

Please know that I appreciate all of the love, support and most importantly, prayers that have been lifted up for me and my family! They have been answered, and I continue to be amazed by my God and His work in my life! It has been an amazing journey and I cannot wait to see where His plans lead me next! Everyday and everything is somehow serving His greater purpose for my life, and for yours too! You are all in my prayers daily and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

In God's Amazing Love,

Jessica (Sarah Gina's daughter :)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words…

What a difference a year can make!

Me & Dr. Cantu aka "Dr. Green Shirt"

August, 2009

September, 2010

I don’t think Dr. Cantu can ever fully comprehend just how special he is to me and the other RSD/Ketamine Coma patients. He is a beacon of light and a north star for all of us dealing with this horrible painful disease. He has restored hope to so many.

God is working miracles through you, Dr. Cantu, always remember that!
Thank you for caring, understanding and for always listening. Thank you for being willing to "step out of the box" and try whatever it takes to get me well. I love you, very much!

And also special thanks to Dr. "Luigi" Barrientos, who has been a God-send in my life and has helped me numerous times while at Hospital San Jose Tec. He is also one of my guardian angels here in Monterrey! Muchias gracias para todos!

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Jessica Is Out of the Hospital!!!

2010-10-11T22:37:00.004-04:00

Hi To All,

I am happy to say that Jessica and I have left the Hospital San Jose Tec once again!

We arrived safely to the apartment at 7 PM Saturday. We are both trying to adjust to life outside of the hospital once again.

I have an interesting story to tell everyone about our "exit" from the hospital:

The plan was for the ambulance to arrive at 4 PM to pick up Jessica from our room #845 at the hospital. Dr. Cantu called the ambulance company and gave them strict orders on how to handle an RSD patient, as well as instructions on going slow over the bumps and to travel very carefully and slowly with Jessica. So, the ambulance arrives late at 4:30 PM - but this is Mexico and after being here for a year you come to realize that everything goes slower here anyway.

We then all carefully place Jessica on the stretcher and proceed to say goodbye to all the nurses as they wheel her towards the elevator. We then proceed down through the ER and into the waiting ambulance and I notice that it is very hot in the ambulance! I ask them to please put on the A/C (or "climas" in spanish). They then tell me that there is no A/C today-problems with this particular ambulance. So, it is decided that we will exit this ambulance and wait for another ambulance with A/C to arrive. But, because that will be at least another 30 minutes or so, we could not stay down in the ER area(due to infection risk for Jessica) and so we had to go all the way back up to the 8th floor and back into her old room once again!

You can imagine the nurses faces when they saw Jessica coming back up to floor! When I called Dr. Cantu and jokingly told him that we had left the hospital and returned and were back in our old room, I think that everybody could hear his: WHAT????????????? coming out of the phone!

But, here comes the interesting part of the story:.

The new ambulance arrives and Jessica and I are loaded into the back and we proceed to take the trip - slowly - and carefully - back to the apartment. Jessica is laying on the stretcher and looking out of the back doors of the ambulance and seeing parts of Monterrey that she has never seen before. We proceed thru a small tunnel and as we take the main road to the apartment she notices a truck is following directly behind us and it has big writing splashed across the windshield! As she starts to read it out loud, this is what it had to say: "CHRISTO TE AMA".

This truck with this saying, which translated means: "Christ Loves You" followed us all the way to our apartment! God does work in mysterious ways - doesn't he???......................

Here is a picture of the truck that I took because I just didn't think that anyone would believe such an amazing story!

The next blog will be a special one from Jessica to everyone. I just wanted to tell you this story and to let everyone know that Jessica is out of the hospital after another stay and she is doing very well --- Praise God!

In God's Love, always
"CHRISTO TE AMA",
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)***
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Exit Plan is for Tomorrow.....

2010-10-08T15:17:00.004-04:00

Hi Everyone,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

Just wanted to let everyone know that we are still in the hospital.

The plan is to hopefully leave tomorrow.

It has been an incredible few months back here in the hospital.

What I have come to realize is something that I have said from the beginning of this journey - and that is that in ALL things God does work for the good of those who love him. At times when you are going through the trials of your life, it is hard to imagine anything good coming from them. I have seen so many things happen here at the hospital. Some of them good, some of them bad, and some of them miraculous!!! In all these times and in all of these occurrences, God has made so much good come from what seemed so bad. What we have learned is that in the end, God turned around the most unbelievable circumstances imaginable and turned them around for good and for His glory!!!

When Jessica and I are settled in once again in the apartment, we will update everyone and Jessica has a special blog post that she wants to send to all.

We have so much to be thankful to God for.

We love you all and pray for everyone each and every day.

Remember to always have faith in God. Remember to always have hope in a better tomorrow. And, remember, above all, that God ultimately has a PLAN for us all. We just have to wait patiently for his timing...............which is always perfect.

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)***

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HOPING TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL!

2010-09-30T09:27:00.007-04:00

Hello To All,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

Just wanted to update everyone on Jessica.

She had surgery this past Sunday for a new medi-port. The past few days she has been receiving ketamine boosters for some pain post surgery.

An ultrasound was performed during surgery to observe the thrombosis in her right arm. She is on IV heparin and will be switched to coumadin when we leave the hospital. She is completing her IV antibiotics and if all goes as planned, we will hopefully leave the hospital by this weekend!

Jessica is doing very well!

Today we would like to wish a Happy Birthday to Molly -- Jessica's yorkie-poo. She is 9 years young today!
Also, Happy Birthday to Cindel tomorrow. She is someone we have met since being here in Mexico and has become like a 4th daughter. She has been such a help to the both of us and is turning 22!

Also - special prayers for Emma - who has come out of the coma here at the hospital. May her recovery go well!

Prayers to all who suffer with this disease.

We pray for all of you and thank you all for your continued prayers for Jessica.

I will update everyone from the apartment in the next few days.

We praise God for Jessica's healing and for all the miracles that happen here at the Hospital San Jose. We also thank God for Dr. Cantu, Dr. Luigi, and Dr. Dillman --- Jessica's special "team"!

Quote for the day:

Someday hopefully everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.
(sent to us from Suzie- a former coma patient)

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)*

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65,000 Views of Blog! 21,000 Views of YouTube!

2010-09-22T10:17:00.003-04:00

Hello to Family & Friends,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

Just wanted to quickly update everyone on Jessica.

She is currently still on IV antibiotics for infection and IV heparin for the thrombosis in her right arm.

The plan is to run blood tests at the end of the week and if all is clear, she will have surgery on Saturday for a new medi-port.

Post surgery, the plan is for her to get a series of boosters and then, depending on how things go, we may be able to transition once again out of the hospital and back to the apartment.

Yesterday we had the pleasure of meeting Julian and Nikki Orange who are here with their daughter Emma. She is currently in a ketamine coma for her RSD that began with an ankle injury. They have traveled all the way here to Mexico from New Zealand! We look forward to meeting Emma when she comes out of the coma and up to the 8th floor!

We also met another patient named Maria Rosaria who is from Mexico and is here with her daughter and husband. She too has RSD and is here for treatment as well!

We hope you are all well. May God bless you all. Que Dios Te Bendiga!

In God's love,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)***

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HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!!

2010-09-20T00:00:00.003-04:00

Today is a special blog to Michelle - my daughter & Jessica's younger sister - who turns 14 Today!!!

Dear Michelle,(My "Mooshie Mae"),

Wow! I can't believe that my "baby" is turning 14 today and what a lovely young woman you have become!

I remember the day you were born. You made your entrance 2 months prematurely and at 3:56 AM! The doctors were amazed when they weighed you and you were 6 lbs. 1oz.! You were our miracle baby! Your Dad and I were so thankful that God saw fit to bless us once again with a healthy baby girl. Your sisters Jessica and Katherine were so proud too! Each day they fought over who would feed you, change you, hold you, etc.......

Michelle - God has blessed you with a warm heart, a beautiful smile, and an incredible spirit! You always try to find the best in people and are always there with either a kind word, a happy thought, or a special deed.

This spirit of helping was never so evident as it was this past summer. I was so very proud of you! You gave up your entire summer to come to Mexico and help me take care of your older sister Jessica --- and what a help you were!!! Having you here with us made it feel a little bit more "like home". And, when your sister had to go back to the hospital and was unexpectedly put back into a coma - it was YOU - Jessica's little "Wessie" (as she calls you) - who was there, by her side, holding her hand, and..holding mine as well!!!

I want you to always know that I am so very proud of you! You are 14, but, you have had to deal with a lot of things that most 14 year olds never have or will ever have to face! Jessica and I couldn't have done it without you this summer --- always remember that! Even though you are now back home, we think of you always and hold you very close to our hearts!!!

This is a special video for your special day:

So, on this day, your birthday, Jessica and I want you to go out and have a great day! Hopefully, one day, really soon, God willing, we will all be together again! Remember this: You may have outgrown Mommy's lap, but you will NEVER outgrow my heart!!!

I found this poem for you:

I asked God for a flower and He gave me a bouquet.
I asked God for a minute and He gave me a day.
I prayed to God for true love and He gave me that too.
I prayed to God for an Angel, and He gave me YOU!!!

May God bless you dear angel, especially on this day that marks your birth. May God bless you Today, Tomorrow, and Always!

All Our Love,
From Monterrey, Mexico
Mommy & Jessica xoxoxo

2Corinthians 7:4:
"I have great confidence in You, I take great pride in You"

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Mexican Bicentennial Independence Day

2010-09-16T11:38:00.007-04:00

Hello to All,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

Mexican Independence Day is today - September 16 - as this year’s occasion will signify the 200th anniversary of Mexico’s war of independence from the Spanish Empire.

Mexico’s independence struggle began with “El Grito de Dolores,” which means “The Cry of Dolores.” The Dolores here is not a woman but the town where priest Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla incited people to fight their Spanish rulers. (By the way --- the word "dolores" in Spanish means "pain")

To include a bit of history, Hidalgo himself would not live to see Mexico sever her bonds with Spain. The revolutionary priest was captured and executed in 1811, but Mexicans did not achieve independence until 1821.

Today, Hidalgo is known as the “father of the nation” for spearheading the Mexican War of Independence. Every year on the night of September 15, the president of Mexico addresses the Mexican people assembled in Mexico City’s Zocalo (main square), one of the largest in the world. Here, the president proudly waves the Mexican flag and rings the history liberty bell that Hidalgo once rang.

Mexicans show their green-white-red pride with elaborate decorations on their homes and place flags in their windows and cars. During this time, families come together and enjoy Independence Day treats.

Mexican Independence Day is an extravagant celebration in Mexico.

Update on Jessica:

Jessica is still on IV heparin infusion for the thrombosis in her right arm. Dr. Luigi has applied wrapping to the arm and she has to keep it elevated on cushions. Blood tests that were taken revealed that she does have a gram positive infection and so her antibiotics were changed to Zyvoxam and Avelox, as well as Cancidas for the candida infection. It was also necessary for her to receive a blood transfusion yesterday due to continuing low hemaglobin counts and her feeling very drained of energy. So, I guess after receiving this blood, Jessica is a little more Mexican today - and - on the occasion of their Independence Day! Viva Mexico!

Thanks for all your continued prayers for Jessica. Despite all she is going thru, she is doing well and we praise God for giving her the fortitude she needs each and every day to face any new obstacles that come her way!

Stay well,
In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)***

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Small Steps.....Remembering 9/11

2010-09-11T13:05:00.006-04:00

Hello To All,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

I have been having major problems with my computer here in Mexico and have been without service and non-working keys and so it has been difficult to blog.

I would like to update everyone on Jessica's progress here, but, first, I would like to take a moment to honor all those who lost their lives on this fateful day 9 years ago. To all the families who suffered tremendous loss that day and to all the fireman, policemen, and everyday citizens who responded on that fateful day, we remember you ALL today and we pray that a day like that NEVER happens again!

Jessica is still in the hospital and will most likely have to be here at least another 3 weeks. She is doing well and is still with much less pain. She has to remain in the hospital to receive IV antibiotics for an infection, as well as IV heparin for a thrombosis that was detected in her right arm during surgery for a new central line cathether. She is also receiving her ketamine boosters as well. Dr. Cantu also called in a cardiologist, Dr. Pozas, in order to do a study on her heart to rule out endocarditis, due to the infections she has experienced. It was determined that she has slight regurgitation in her tri-cuspid valve, but nothing to be concerned about at this time.

It goes without saying that she is a trooper.

She continues to take her small steps towards recovery everyday, even in the face of any problems. Thanks for all your continued prayers on her behalf.

The plan is to complete the necessary course of IV medications and then when all is clear - surgery to place a medi-port and hopefully back to the apartment. Please pray that the next few weeks go quickly, but smoothly.

What I have learned since embarking on this journey with Jessica is that everyday is another chance at taking those "small steps" that Dr. Cantu ALWAYS talks about. I have also come to realize that all things happen according to God's timing. Only He knows the road we will travel and we must truly thank Him for each new day --- as it is His gift to us as we rise each and every morning.

So, on this day, September 11th, let us be mindful of how precious life is and how we must never forget where we have been and what we have endured, because it makes us who we are and also because it is right to do so!

Lamentations 3:20-23

I will remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

P>S> A very special Happy Birthday to Dr. Liegner --- Jessica's amazing doctor in N.Y. We hope you have a day that is as special as you are to us!!!

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Mom to 3)***

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UPDATE ON JESSICA---GREAT NEWS!!!

2010-08-31T09:16:00.008-04:00

Hello to all our Family & Friends,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

I am so sorry that I haven't blogged sooner, but it has been a couple of weeks that have been like no other.

First, and foremost, Jessica is awake and is out of the ICU and back up to the 8th floor!

She is doing very well!!!

The hospital is all talking about the miracle that happened here this past week. Quite honestly, from Angeles - Jessica's nurse that morning on the 8th floor when she was not doing well, to Carlos - her nurse in the ICU when she awoke - they are all amazed at her recovery.

Throughout this journey with Jessica I have witnessed firsthand the many times that God has truly revealed himself to us. This past week was another one of those revealing times. What began with Jessica being rushed down to the ICU having difficulty breathing and not doing very well at all, is now a celebration in that she has recovered from the pneumothorax, infections and fevers, and when she emerged from the coma, is with much less pain, the lesions are healing as well, and she is able to move her legs once again! Jessica is smiling again!!!

I wanted you all to know this most special news!!!

Let me just say that we should never underestimate God.
He truly does work in mysterious ways.
We must always believe that He Can - and not that He Can't.

And...remember to always believe in that "rainbow" that appears after a "mighty storm" because it is God's revelation or "message" to us that the dreams that you dream of really can and do come true!!!

We pray that you are all well. Please pray for Jessica. Pray that she keeps smiling her beautiful smile. Pray that the pain, the lesions and the infections stay away. Thanks be to God for his mighty works. And many thanks to Dr. Cantu ( a doctor like no other-aka Dr. "CanDo"), Dr. Luigi (always there for Jessica), Dr. Dillman (the infection control doc) and all the staff here at the hospital.

And......many thanks to all of you for your prayers for a miracle for Jessica!

In God's love and praise, always
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)***

A Special Birthday Message to Jessica's grandma - Nanny "Yum-Yum" - my mother - who turns 87 today!!! Happy Birthday and thank you for praying for a miracle for Jessica!!! We love you very much!!!

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Sweet Dreams Jessica.............

2010-08-21T00:26:00.008-04:00

Hello To All,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

This week has been a week of weeks. As you know Jessica has been having infections and recurring lesions and pain and has been hospitalized for the past two weeks. Due to the recurring fevers it was decided to remove her medi-port and place a central catheter instead in order to continue with her IV antibiotics, IVIG, TPN and ketamine boosters.

After the surgery for the new catheter placement she was experiencing pain that was very different. As the night progressed and the pain was increasing, as well as her having difficulty and pain with breathing, Dr. Cantu & Dr. Luigi quickly ran tests and discovered that Jessica suffered a pneumothorax. Due to these events, some of which were very scary, it was necessary to put Jessica in the ICU and put her to sleep for a few days to rest and for the doctors to be able to perform what was needed for Jessica.

It goes without saying that I am thankful to Dr. Cantu, Dr. Luigi, Dr. Dillman, Dr. Castilleja & Dr. Cinthia for all they continue to do for Jessica each and every day here. As you know, it was one year ago that we first arrived here in Monterrey. That journey began with our hope in getting Jessica better and as pain-free as we possibly can. We have seen the improvements she has made here and quite frankly her courage, strength, faith and determination have been inspiring; not only to me, but to so many others who have come here for this treatment - as well as those who suffer with RSD who follow this blog.

The journey continues once again....as Jessica continues to take the small steps needed towards her ultimate recovery.

I know you all know how much I am in awe of my daughter and how I thank God each and every day for blessing me with her. I continue to thank God and praise him for ALL he has done for Jessica and continues to do for her every minute of every day! I also thank God for all of you who continue to pray for Jessica and continue to take this journey along with us. We couldn't have come this far without your love and support and we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!

I will try to update you on Jessica's progress and how she is doing when she comes out of the coma. Jessica has made so much progress since we have been here and I know as sure as I know my own name - that she will come out of this even stronger and more determined than before. She is a fighter. We all know that!

As it says in Psalm 139 - Verses 11&12:

"Even darkness like this is not too dark for yourather, night is as clear as day,darkness and light are the same."
God Does His Best Work In The Darkness!

Please pray for a restful sleep for Jessica. Pray that she awakens in a few days feeling better and stronger and in less pain. Pray also for the sweet miracle of healing - the kind that can only come from the good Lord above.

SWEET DREAMS JESSICA..................
I LOVE YOU!!!

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)*

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Continued Prayers Needed.....

2010-08-17T05:27:00.004-04:00

Hello to All,

This past week has been very difficult for Jessica. Initially it looked like the fevers were responding to the antibiotics, but the past few days the fevers have been increasing and last night it went up to 39 C or roughly 102.5 F.

Due to this Dr. Cantu and Dr. Dillman both agreed that it would be necessary to remove Jessica's medi-port and instead put in a central catheter. She was brought down to surgery this afternoon.

We are currently awaiting cultures to determine if this is the same infection she has been trying to fight or a new one.

She is a fighter and quite honestly I don't know how she manages to keep on fighting sometimes.....but we have to believe that God has a better plan for Jessica and also a better life ahead for her as well.

We thank you for all your love and support and continued prayers for Jessica.
Please pray that the RSD symptoms she is feeling will lessen. Pray for Dr. Cantu and all the doctors here at the Hospital San Jose Tec.

In God's Love, always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)*

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Update on Jessica / Fundraiser This Weekend

2010-08-09T19:24:00.004-04:00

Hello To All,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

UPDATE ON JESSICA:

As you know it was necessary to hospitalize Jessica this past Thursday.

Tests revealed that she is currently fighting two infections - gram negative bacteremia and candida.
Dr. "Febricula"(aka Dillman) has changed her antibiotics due to culture sensitivity tests. She is currently on merrem, tygacil and equalta. The fevers have been responding to the infection. The hope is that the medi-port will not have to be changed.

Due to the infection, however, Jessica is experiencing a lot of pain. As you may recall, Jessica's RSD came from infection and not injury - and so it is not good when she gets infection. Some of the lesions are returning to her right arm and right leg. Dr. Cantu is attacking this with giving Jessica ketamine boosters every day, until things quiet down and she starts to feel better.

Please pray for Jessica and pray that things go in a forward motion. She is discouraged, as you can imagine. We have been praying that God performs his healing miracles here once again, along with Dr. Cantu(Green Shirt), Dr. Dillman (Febricula),and Dr. Luigi (Luis).

Tomorrow she will be put back on TPN- due to her gastric symptoms and to help her nutritionally. She will also be put on IVIG, an immune system booster, with the hopes of building up her immune system and to try to normalize some of her blood counts, as well as to try to reverse some of her symptoms as well!

I will keep you all posted....

In God's love,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)*

SPECIAL FUNDRAISER THIS WEEKEND:

With all that has been going on I forget to mention a Special Fundraiser that is taking place this weekend in Garden City, New York. It was organized by The Stober family, and many items have been donated for the sale.
The Garage Sale Fundraiser will be held AUGUST 13th & 14th at:
10 St. Paul's Place - Garden City, New York
If you are in the area on these days - please feel free to stop by and support this wonderful outpouring of love and support for Jessica and our family.

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Jessica is Back In The Hospital

2010-08-06T00:20:00.003-04:00

Hello to All,

I am writing this blog tonight from the Hospital San Jose Tec once again.

Dr. Cantu & Dr. Dillman both felt that it was necessary to hospitalize Jessica due to infection and also because of her blood counts being low. Due to her immune system being compromised and the lesions returning to her right arm and also the increasing pain she was experiencing - it was not only necessary but unavoidable.

We arrived here via ambulance and are back in our old room - #845.

As you can imagine coming back to the hospital comes with many mixed emotions. On the one hand, it was necessary and in Jessica's best interest so that she could get all of the treatments necessary. On the other hand, it is so very emotional and for Jessica - a setback. She is such a strong person and as Dr.Cantu has said to her so many times during this journey - he is amazed at what she has endured and the obstacles she has overcome and still continues to overcome each and every day. God is truly with her and continues to bless her with a perseverance that quite frankly is inspiring. I am truly blessed to be her Mom!!!

She is currently on equalta, maxipime, and cubicin. These medications may change when the culture sensitivities are in. She will also be receiving her ketamine boosters in order to try to alleviate her pain and also to go after the reoccuring lesions. Blood counts will be drawn daily and appropriate treatment will be started as warranted. It is the doctors hope that we will only be in the hospital for @ 10 days.

Please keep all those prayers coming for Jessica. God is good and with His mighty help and unending love - as well as Dr.Cantu and his amazing devotion to Jessica - and to Dr. Dillman, her infectious disease doctor and his tireless efforts as well - and also Dr. Luigi and all of his help --- I know that Jessica will come out of this victorius! For me, as her Mom, I will stop at nothing to see this happen for Jessica and for her to one day have her life back again...........

May God keep you all healthy and in His loving grace,
Sarah Gina (Mom to 3)*

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Special Prayers Needed!

2010-08-04T06:33:00.004-04:00

Hello to All our Family & Friends,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

Sorry I haven't posted sooner. This past week has not gone very smoothly for Jessica. She has not been feeling well and was experiencing some intermittent low-grade fevers, as well as some other symptoms.

Yesterday, however, her fever began to rise. I called Dr. Cantu and Dr. Dillman and blood cultures and exams were taken to try and discover the source of her infection. We are awaiting results of these tests to determine what the next course of action will be. For now, the two doctors are trying to manage her on an out-patient basis. If the need should arise and depending on those exams - we may have to bring her back to the hospital.

Please continue to keep Jessica in your prayers. Pray that we can figure out the infection and with that the increasing pain and recurring lesions. Please pray that she doesn't have to return to the hospital!

I will keep you all posted.

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)*

"We don't know what tomorrow holds. There are no promises of it. But we know HE holds tomorrow!"

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After the Rain - A Rainbow ...

2010-07-23T16:16:00.011-04:00

Hi To All,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

To Order Jessica's Journey Necklace, Click On Link :
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41687962

To view New Vemma Product Video, Click on Link Below:
www.WeDoItForTheKIDS.com
(Sales of Vemma Products also help Jessica's Journey-for more info contact Nancy @ (419)350-9058)

I can't believe that Jessica and I have been in the apartment one month already.

It has definitely been a big transition for her and I am still amazed at her strength, strong will and fierce determination to one day be the way she was years ago.

We are both still adjusting from "in-hospital life" to "out-of hospital life".

I am also still trying to figure out everyday life in Mexico. From the simple things of going shopping to the local H.E.B. (which is like a Stop n Shop or Publix) and then trying to navigate the local WalMart and Costco (Yes - they have these stores here in Monterrey - thank God!)

For Jessica - she is still trying to take those "small steps" towards her ultimate recovery. This past week was a bit rough in that we had problems with her hospital bed, as well as problems with her PCA and medtronics pump - all while Dr. Cantu was away. Dr. Cantu came back from his vacation with his family and not a moment too soon for us! Michelle is still here with us and it certainly feels a little more like "home" having her with us in the apartment.

The other day as I looked out of the window that overlooks the Sierra de La Silla mountain, I was awestruck with the beauty of a most magnificent rainbow. The kind of rainbow that extended from one side over to the other; but this rainbow stretched above the mountain - "framing" the mountain and all of its majesty!
When I think of a rainbow - for me it is a sign or promise from God. I came across this poem on the internet:

God's Rainbow

Rainbows appear after mighty storms,
When things look their very worst,
Just when the skies are darkest gray,
Look for the rainbow first.

The rainbow is a sign of God's promise,
That He will guide us through any storm,
That He will see us through all our troubles,
No matter what their form.

When you feel battered by life's storms,
And you are filled with doubt and dismay;
Just remember God's rainbow is coming -
It's only a prayer away.

In Christianity, after Noah's flood the Bible relates that the rainbow gained meaning as the sign of God's promise that terrestrial life would never again be destroyed by flood (Genesis 9:13–17):^[27]

"I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth. And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud: And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth. And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth".

After Hurricane Alex and all of the mini-storms that Monterrey has had since then, it is so fitting that such a magnificent rainbow would appear in the sky and above the majestic mountain that is such a symbol for this city and for its people.

I also think that the rainbow is a promise from God that in whatever "Mighty storms" we may encounter in life, whether it be illness, death, or tragedy - we must remember that God is ALWAYS with us - through the storms (bad times) and also through the good times. It is His mighty love and His protecting hand that comforts us, protects us, envelops us, and hopefully heals us!

Thank you all for your continued prayers for Jessica and I as she continues to take her "small steps" each day and as I try to navigate life in Mexico. This has certainly been an amazing journey - filled with many ups and downs - many stormy and sunny days - many miracles - and yes --- so MANY stories to tell...

We pray that you ALL see that "rainbow" in the sky and realize the "promise" that it sends to all that look upon it and believe in a God that is so wonderful, so omnipresent, and so majestic!

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)*

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56,000 Views of Blog! 15,000 Views of YouTube!

2010-07-15T09:15:00.003-04:00

Hello to All,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

The storms have finally ended and the beautiful Monterrey sun has reappeared over the Sierra de La Silla mountains once again!

Jessica has been reconnecting with her sister Michelle this past week. It is so nice to hear them together again talking like only sisters can! For all of us who have sisters and/or brothers, we know the special connection that exists - it is like no other!

Jessica has been responding to the antibiotics and the fevers have lessened. Dr. Dillman (aka Dr."Febricula") wants her to finish the course of the antibiotics. All cultures came back negative and so it is believed that it was a flare-up of her RSD - as a few of the lesions have reappeared on her right arm. For Jessica, the ketamine is a necessary component to keeping the lesions at bay and also the pain some what controlled.

Since being in the apartment, I have had time to reflect on the time that Jessica and I spent at the Hospital San Jose Tec. For the 10 months that we were there, so many things happened and so many stories need to be told. My plan is to write a book about this journey. In fact I have already begun to do so! The title will be "It's A Long Story....But....." and each chapter will begin with the "But.....". My hope is not only to tell Jessica's story, but to also raise awareness for RSD - a disease that is so misunderstood and so life-changing; and also for Lyme - a disease that people need to be so careful of due to its' devastating effects as well! I will keep you all posted on the progress I make with the book. Many of the blog postings will be a part of the book - as well as many of the comments. Who knows - maybe it will be a bestseller??? Only God knows the answer to that one!

The other day we had our first visit from a fellow coma patient - Blair. He has become very special to us - he is like family. He came by before his trip back home to Canada. He and his companion Susie brought over some special gifts for Jessica and I. Jessica received a hug-bear and I received a beautiful Beatles painting to hang on our wall in the apartment. Thanks Blair for the presents, but more importantly for the visit and for all your love!

Dr. Cantu returns from vacation this Saturday. It will be good to have him back and we hope he had a nice vacation with his family --- he deserves it!

Thank you all for the compassion that you have shown to Jessica and to our family. May God bless you all with good health --- for it is something that you cannot buy and so very important --- besides our faith in God. It is with God that we all find the strength to carry on.....

Psalm 84:11&12
"For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you."
Psalm 37:3-5
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this for you."

Peace and love always,
Sarah Gina (Jessica's Mom)*

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It's Raining INDOORS!!!

2010-07-08T10:54:00.005-04:00

Dear Family & Friends,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

This will be a quick post as I don't know how long my computer will work and stay connected.

Let me start by saying that this past week has had many ups and downs.

The city of Monterrey is trying to rebuild and regroup after a devastating hurricane - the likes of which have not ever been seen here. We received over 25 inches of rain in a 3 day period! Many people were without power and water for days. Many roads were damaged by the excessive weight of the water and many bridges have been deemed not safe for passage. All homes received some type of water damage, whether it was thru windows, under doors, or by dirt being drawn into their homes by the excessive rain.

Please read the following article about the Hurricane:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100703/us_nm/us_storm_alex_monterrey

Jessica's Dad & sister Michelle arrived safely this past July 4th. Dad will be leaving this Saturday morning and Michelle will be staying for the month to finally be with me and Jessica. It is so good to have them here even though we have had a week of crazy occurences in the apartment due to the storm. We are still experiencing rains everyday and another tropical storm - Bonnie - is looming in the horizon.

Dr. Cantu has virtually been here everyday as Jessica is experiencing low grade fevers again. The plan is to do "house calls" with the infections disease doctor - Dr. Dillman (aka Dr. Febricula). He has run some bloodwork and cultures and he put Jessica on levoflaxin daily for 7 days in the meanwhile. Please pray that the fevers will resolve as her pain has increased due to the fevers/infection.

Dr. Cantu leaves on vacation this Sunday and Dr. Luis (Luigi) will be visiting Jessica in the apartment and doing her medications and such. Special congratulations go out to Dr. Luigi and His wife Emma on the birth of their first child - a daughter - named Regina. She was born on July 5th, the same day as her Mom Emma and also her grandfather --- Amazing. She is beautiful - a true "princesa".

I will try to blog a longer post in the next few days. It has been crazy here with the storms and the water and settling in. Imagine having problems in your home and having to get them rectified. Then imagine trying to do that all in spanish and in Mexico and then add a hurricane into the mix! God is good and he has provided the support we have needed thru friends that we now have here in Monterrey! Some days though are definitely easier than others.......

We hope you are all well. Thanks for all the continued prayers for Jessica and for our family. Please pray also for Blair and Fern who recently left the hospital after their boosters to return to their homes in Canada.

May God continue to keep us all safe, well and in good health!

In God's love and with his grace,
Sarah Gina (Mom to 3)*

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200th BLOG POST!!! HURRICANE ALEX IS HERE!!!

2010-07-01T19:09:00.009-04:00

Hello to Our Family, Friends, and Bloggers,

I can't believe that this post is my 200th Post! --- and it couldn't come at a better time. My 200th Post during Hurricane Alex!!!

We are in the apartment only 10 days and we have been battling a hurricane or "huella" as they say in Mexico.

It has been 20 years since the likes of a storm such that we are now experiencing as even touched Monterrey, this beautiful city, that before now was always protected by the Sierra Madre Mountains on one side and the Sierra de la Silla Mountains on the other.

There is a famous river - Santa Catarina - which only two days ago was completely dry, and has been dry for 20 years!!! The last storm to hit this area was 20 years ago - Hurricane Gilberto. This river is now overflowing!

As I sit here posting this blog I have been busy all day placing towels and pots by the windows as water is coming in from every angle. Even though we are in a new apartment building, these structures are not made to withstand these type of storms, nor this amount of rain - over 15 inches I think! It has been a hectic day to say the least!

Dr. Cantu just left our apartment. He came to visit Jessica and adjust some of her medications. He is like the "mailman" - neither sleet, nor snow, or even a hurricane can keep him from his appointed duties!

Jessica is still trying to adjust to the new surroundings and the new hospital bed. Just a few days ago we received a better type hospital bed for her. It is on loan from a fellow RSD sufferer named Olga. We met her before we left the hospital and we quickly became friends - there is definitely a very special connection! She and her husband and friend Blanca delivered the bed before the storm and we are so grateful to them for all of their help, love and support.

Please pray for the city of Monterrey - to be able to bounce back quickly after this tremendous storm.
Please pray for the wonderful people of Monterrey - many of whom we now call our "family".
Please pray for Dr. Cantu - that all his travels to and fro are safe.
Please pray for Jessica - for her to find that inner strength and determination that has so become a part of her daily struggle.
Please pray also for Elana, Fern, and Blair - fellow RSD coma patients who are currently in Mexico for their boosters.

Please pray also for a safe journey for Jessica's Dad and sister Michelle. They are due to arrive here late Sunday - July 4th - weather permitting!!!

In God's love, always,
Sarah Gina & Jessica*

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Settling Into Our "Home Away From Home"...

2010-06-25T22:13:00.006-04:00

Hi to Everyone,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

Sorry it has taken me so long to write about what has happened these past days.

Jessica left the hospital last Saturday at around 6:00 PM. She was brought to the apartment via ambulance and stretcher. Dr. Cantu instructed the paramedics to proceed very slowly and gave them explicit instructions on how to manage Jessica during the trip. He also gave her ketamine to ease the transition from hospital to "home". The ride would normally take only 5 minutes, but because of the special precautions, it took us 45 minutes.

The first thing Jessica noticed as she was wheeled out on the stretcher, was how warm it felt outside and how windy it was. You can imagine, this was her first breath of fresh air in 10 months!

When we arrived at the apartment Jessica was still under the effects of the ketamine. She later told me that I had done a great job and that the apartment was beautiful. We were helped to the apartment by Dr. Rainbow and her husband Dr. Zavala. We were also visited by Pastor Long and his wife Sue, Sylvia and her daughter Christine and her friend Fran. They brought along a dessert & fruit basket, and also special blessings for our "home away from home". Our new friend Lalio Chandler, also stopped by with special well wishes for us as well!

From Jessica's room she can see the majestic mountains called "La Sierra de La Silla" because of how the central portion of the mountain range resembles a chair or "silla". At night, when the city of Monterrey is all lit up, it truly takes your breath away! I got to sleep in a bed for the first time in 10 months --- it seemed very big to me, as I had gotten "used to"sleeping on the sofa.

Jessica is currently on a special hospital bed that was lent to us by another new friend and fellow RSD sufferer - Olga. Her husband and friend Blanca delivered it personally to Jessica at the apartment.

We truly have some much to be thankful for! God is good!

These past few days have not been without struggles. As much as it is a major milestone for Jessica, it is also a very big change and one that she, as well as I, have been trying to get used to. When you have spent 10 months in a hospital, it stands to reason that the adjustment to "outside life" would not come smoothly. As with everything else in life, it will take some time.

Dr. Cantu has been wonderful, as always, in helping Jessica with this transition. I think that he is just as amazed as we are that it actually happened at all and that we are finally out of the hospital. Quite honestly, I think he is finally breathing a huge sigh of relief!!!

I will try to write some more in the coming days, as so much as happened.

For now it is late and I am feeling emotionally and physically exhausted, and besides, my "big new bed" awaits me!

Please pray for Jessica to continue to have the strength and perseverance she needs to navigate the next few weeks. Please pray for the continuing treatments to go well and for the "small steps" to continue and that ultimately all that was accomplished here in Monterrey will one day eventually bring us home again!

We pray for ALL of you and are forever grateful for all of your love and support!

In God's Love, always,
Sarah Gina & Jessica*

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JESSICA IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL!!!

2010-06-20T14:00:00.005-04:00

Hi to All our Family & Friends,

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

Today is 10 months since we first arrived here in Monterrey for the coma.

Jessica left the Hospital San Jose Tec last night at 6:00 PM!!!

Praise God for his awesome love!

As you can imagine, it was a difficult trip via ambulance to our apartment - our new "home away from home".

I will try to write a larger update in a few days as it is hectic settling in.

Just wanted you all to know the news!

Keep us in your prayers - and please pray that all goes well with Jessica and this transition.

All our love,
Sarah Gina*(Mom to 3)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL!!!

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Friday is Hopefully the Day!!!

2010-06-16T00:09:00.005-04:00

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update:

Jessica and I will probably not be leaving the hospital till Friday.

There are so many things to be done and I have come to realize that time moves very slowly in Mexico.

Please keep us in your prayers.

It has been quite hectic and stressful this past week. Many ups and downs.

I will keep you all posted.

With love, always,
Sarah Gina & Jessica ***

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WEDNESDAY IS THE DAY!!!

2010-06-14T14:00:00.004-04:00

Hi to All our family, friends, and blog followers:

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

IMPORTANT NEWS:

It is looking like all is a go for leaving the hospital this Wednesday and transitioning out to an apartment here in Monterrey.

As you can imagine, it has been quite hectic here. Many plans to make and meetings to have in order to make this happen!

There have been so many emotions going on these past weeks, as we reflect back on the first day we arrived here at the Hospital San Jose Tec back in August.

I am composing a special message to everyone and will post it as soon as I can.

Please know that we think of all of you always and can't wait for the day when we ultimately come home.

God is in control - only He has the ultimate plan for Jessica - AND - for us ALL!

Please continue to keep Jessica and our family in your prayers and pray that all goes well with our transition.

Till I post the special message,
and in God's amazing hands always,
Sarah Gina (Mom to 3)*

I am the light for the world! Follow Me, and you won't be walking in the dark. You will have the light that gives life. (John 8:12)

I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest. (John 10:10)

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53,000 Views of Blog! 12,500 Views of Youtube!

2010-06-10T09:29:00.004-04:00

Hi Everyone,
To Order Jessica's Journey Necklace, Click On Link :
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41687962

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

To view New Vemma Product Video, Click on Link Below:
http://bonusbiz.vemma.com/v.asp?IDNum=A4FAA92D%2D2723%2D425D%2DB822%2DF6E131A6817A&CO_LA=US_EN
(Sales of Vemma Products also help Jessica's Journey-for more info contact Nancy @ (419)350-9058)

Just a quick update:

We are still in the hospital as there are some loose ends that need to be addressed before we can transition out of Room 845.

Jessica's fevers have responded to the new antibiotic called targocid and she will remain on the IV medication until we leave.

As you can imagine, things are very hectic here - both physically and emotionally. We have been here for quite some time and the preparations for such a move can seem daunting at times.

On that note - yesterday was a day of days here. Katherine, Jessica's sister, has been recovering from the wisdom teeth extraction. She began experiencing tremendous pain in her back. Dr. Cantu and Dr. Luigi did a full exam and both felt that she may have a kidney stone. A urologist was called in as well and a URO Cat scan was performed. She does have a small stone and the hope is that it will pass with medication. Dr. Cantu also put her on medication for the pain.

As I said before --- never a dull moment with our family!

Please pray for Jessica - that all stays as planned and that we can transition from the hospital in the coming days.
Please pray for Katherine - that her stone passes and her pain is managed and that her mouth heals as well.
Please pray for me - that God continues to bless me with strength and good health - so that I can accomplish the tasks that need to be done for us to transition out of Room 845.
Please pray for Dr. Cantu and Dr. Luigi - for all they have done for us and continue to do every day.

In God We Trust,
Sarah Gina* (Mom to 3)

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Before The Morning........

2010-06-05T09:46:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone,

To Order Jessica's Journey Necklace, Click On Link :
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41687962

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

To view New Vemma Product Video, Click on Link Below:
http://bonusbiz.vemma.com/v.asp?IDNum=A4FAA92D%2D2723%2D425D%2DB822%2DF6E131A6817A&CO_LA=US_EN
(Sales of Vemma Products also help Jessica's Journey-for more info contact Nancy @ (419)350-9058)

Update on Room 845:

Good morning to everyone. I wanted to share the following video with everyone this morning. It was sent to us via a comment on the blog and it is an amazing song. It goes out to all those suffering with the pain of RSD, but also for everyone who is battling lyme disease or other illnesses and suffering with pain as well! It is so uplifting and the story behind the song is so inspiring! Enjoy!

Update:

Jessica is responding to the new antibiotic - targocid. This is an antibiotic that targets gram-positive infections. The fevers have lessened and are only low-grade now! The plan is for her to complete the IV treatment and then hopefully transition out of the hospital within a week or so. Praise God and praise you all for your continued prayers for Jessica and this incredible journey! It has been a "crazy" time here in Monterrey - both emotionally & physically as we try to make this "transition" happen. God has indeed been with us each and every day and from Him comes our strength. Also, please know, that ALL of you have been such a tremendous source of strength and compassion to us --- we are humbled by you all!

On another note - As you know Katherine is here with us and she began experiencing difficulties with her wisdom teeth. We had a consultation with an oral surgeon and he has advised us to remove all four wisdom teeth. This was something that was supposed to have been done in N.Y. but was put "on hold" while I have been here in Monterrey with Jessica. So, the plan is for her to have surgery here on Monday. I guess I will have two patients to look after now! Life is always interesting with our family! Please pray for Katherine as well and that all goes well with the extractions!

With God's love always,
Sarah Gina*

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Update on Jessica

2010-06-02T13:49:00.005-04:00

Hi To All,

To Order Jessica's Journey Necklace, Click On Link :
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41687962

To view Jessica on Fox TV, Click on Link Below:
htt p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_vstm0bS8

To view New Vemma Product Video, Click on Link Below:
http://bonusbiz.vemma.com/v.asp?IDNum=A4FAA92D%2D2723%2D425D%2DB822%2DF6E131A6817A&CO_LA=US_EN
(Sales of Vemma Products also help Jessica's Journey-for more info contact Nancy @ (419)350-9058)

Update on Jessica:

We are still in the hospital and it seems we will not be transitioning out of here until hopefully sometime next week.

Jessica is still running low-grade fevers and so the ID doctor has now added another IV antibiotic - Targocid - to her medications. She is currently on two antibiotics now - targocid and avelox.

Since the surgery for the mediport installation, she has not felt right. Please pray that the new antibiotic combination does the trick and the fevers go away.

Dr. Cantu is back from his trip and that is certainly comforting to her and to me as well. Things always run smoother when he is around and on top of things!

We are so happy to have Katherine here with us. As her Mom, I have truly missed her so! She has a way of lighting up the room with her "infectious smile"! She is currently sleeping on the blow-up mattress in our room. It feels a little more like "home" having her here with us. I guess the saying is true: Home is where the heart is..........

Thanks for all your continued prayers and always remember that you are all in our prayers daily and we think of you with love and affection. Stay well!

In God's love, and in His peace,
Sarah Gina (Mom to 3)*

Special thanks go out to Cindel - our new friend here in Monterrey. She is more like family to us now! She has been so helpful to me in getting our place all set up and ready for Jessica for when we ultimately transition out of the hospital. She is a very special person - like a daughter - and I could not have done all that I have done so far without her help and more importantly her compassion! God has truly blessed us with wonderful "family" here in Monterrey!
Also - special thanks to Dr. Rainbow for helping me in so many ways. She helped me look into a hospital bed for when we leave the hospital. She is like Jessica's "grandma" here in Monterrey - and we love her and her family so!

"But I will rescue you on that day, declares the Lord; you will not be handed over to those you fear. I will save you; you will not fall by the sword but will escape with your life, because you trust in me, declared the Lord".
Jeremiah 39:17 & 18

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