John and I met three years ago, under less than ideal circumstances. We were both down in the hospital in Monterrey Mexico, receiving ketamine treatment from Dr. Cantu, hoping to put our agonizing pain from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy into remission and gain some semblance of a normal life.
I had been in the hospital for nearly 10 months when we met, and Rosemary, John, and my mom and I quickly hit it off and became friends.
John told me how up until 9 years ago, he had been a very active man. He volunteered as a fireman and worked at a very physically demanding job at a utility company.
That is, until he had an injury that changed everything and he developed RSD.
Before RSD John also loved singing. He told me that he pursued his wife, Rosemary, by singing outside her bedroom window until she finally agreed to go out with him. He promised her that if she would marry him, he would sing to her everyday for the rest of their lives.
When I met John at the hospital in Mexico, even laughing was not possible for him. Any type of activity at all that required the use of the muscles in his neck caused him severe pain flare ups in his neck, shoulder, arm and hand.
Needless to say, singing was out of the question...
Rosemary has referred to the day of John’s injury as “The day the music died” in their household.
The suffering that this disease causes, and the things that you lose because of it, never cease to amaze me. But how special people can come into your life through this pain, continually amazes me as well.
My mom and I always felt a very special connection to both Rosemary & John and feel so blessed that they became a part of our extended family. It's weird to think that we have only known them for 3 years. Our bond goes so deep it feels as if we'd known each other forever.
Last year I was back in the hospital. On the morning before my surgery, I got a special call via skype. It was John. He said that he had a surprise for me—he was going to sing!
I had the honor of being the first ‘concert’ that he had performed in years!
He sang “You’ve Got A Friend” by Carole King.
.”…You just call out my name/And you know wherever I am/I'll come running to see you again/Winter, spring, summer or fall/All you have to do is call/And I'll be there/You've got a friend…”
John's voice was so clear and beautiful. Definitely a God-given talent.
On May 21st I was backing up some files on my computer, and I came across that skype video of John singing to me.
I called my mom over to watch it with me, and said, "we should call John tomorrow."
But tomorrow never came.
John, the next day, when I heard the news that you were gone, my heart stopped. To know you felt such extreme pain that you couldn't bear to live anymore. Nobody can ever understand another's pain, but I feel like those of us who have lived with the agony of RSD can understand where your mind was in those moments. You were so, so strong, for such a long time.
Words escape me.
However, the bible says this:
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
John, I know from our many conversations that you believed this.
I believe you are now seeing Jesus, face to face. Safe and sound.
I see you laughing and smiling, as you run recklessly into Jesus' loving arms, feeling no pain as you move, for the first time after so many years of suffering.
I hear you singing along with the angels, fully clothed with a healed mind and a brand new body.
I see you reunited with your beloved cat, Frankie boy. I see you happy, and at peace.
.”…You just call out my name/And you know wherever I am/I'll come running to see you again…”
I know where you are and I will see you again.
John, We will all love you Forever.
You've always got a friend.
Love, Jessica
In loving memory of John J. Roach
June 14, 1959- May 22, 2013
