Since my Mom first began this blog the header at the top has always read “Jessica’s Journey” with Jeremiah 29:11 underneath it. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord….”
Whose plans? Oh right, His. Not ours.
How easy it is to sometimes lose track of that.
You’re going down this road, thinking you have it all figured out, and sometimes you miss the red lights, speed bumps and nails in the road that are being thrown in your path to slow you down or turn you in another direction entirely.
Ignore these things long enough and pretty soon what you are left with is a flat tire.
That is what this past month has felt like for my family and me, only we had two flat tires—both my Dad and I found out that we needed surgery. Both of us were admitted to the hospital and ended up having our surgeries done on the same day.
In a matter of a few weeks we went from my Dad packing up our house in New York in preparation for his move back down to Florida with my sister Michelle. My sister Katherine packing up her dorm and preparing to move in with a friend and Mom and me beginning to plan for the next step to take in my health journey as well…. These plans all came to a halt.
Those words of self-reliance.
We were certainly making a lot of our own plans.
What is still amazing to me is how God will make himself more known to you than before during that time while you are sitting there, on the side of the road, feeling totally confused and wondering how you were going to even begin to change this tire.
He will send in special people to wait with you, help you remove the nails, to lend you their spare and ultimately get you back on the road.
So many of you have done that for my family and I and we are so thankful for everyone of you.
So… How do you not plan for the future? Well, I still don’t know the answer to that and I am sure that I never will. Actually, I hope I never do.
What I do know though, is that as soon as “I” begin to feel like “I” know the path “I” should take… it means that “I” am the one making the decisions.
For now, we will be content to continue to take it one day at a time, just as we have done this entire time.
For today we are rejoicing in the fact that my Dad and I are both out of our respective hospitals. We are praising God that I am having minimal post operative pain and no flare up of RSD pain. We are trusting that even though we do not understand why these flat tires were placed in our path, God has the entire road map layed out before him. We only see what is in front of us right now, but He sees the entire journey- beginning, middle and end.
We don’t have to plan.
I ask for prayers for my family that we are better able to discern and pay attention to the traffic stops and speed bumps along the way as we recover from these flat tires and move on to the next step of our journey.
We are still awaiting my biopsy results and I ask for prayers that they are favorable and do not show any surprises. I am running a low-grade fever, so we are going to run more blood cultures today to make sure I do not have some type of infection. Please pray that I do not, as infections for my body are never a good thing. Hopefully the fever is just due to some inflammation I am having post-surgery.
I especially ask for prayer today for my friend Blair, another Ketamine coma patient from Canada, who is in the hospital and very sick. I know that I have some amazing prayer warriors who read this blog- God hears and I know He answers. Pray for wisdom and compassion for his doctors and peace and healing for him.
Thank you everyone for your continued support. I am feeling shockingly well. My outcome from this surgery is much better than any of my doctors (and even I) expected. Dr. Cantu expected me to need to stay in the hospital at least 2 months, we were prepared to need to rehabilitate my GI system and go back on TPN (IV nutrition), the nurses were all taking bets on how long I would need to be admitted to the ICU post surgery for pain control. None of this happened.
Thank you for praying, believing.
In God’s Love,
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